IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

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Introduction
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, in
whole
Add an article
the whole
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of
Change preposition
apply
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world
Correct article usage
the world
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society
Add the comma(s)
society,
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face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
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to
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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 live more than late.
Group
Correct article usage
A group
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 think governments will have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 decade.on the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
anyother
Correct your spelling
many other
people
Use synonyms
 have another opinion about
this
Linking Words
 title.in
this
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 essay , I will discuss both these views and give my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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,in many cultures , reverence for grandparents is
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
features
Fix the agreement mistake
feature
show examples
 that
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due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will improve
healthy
Correct article usage
the healthy
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
.
so
Capitalize word
So
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 after some
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 I show a sort of kind society in
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 that will
cause to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
safety
Change preposition
in safety
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 and active social.
secondly
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, elder
people
Use synonyms
took
Verb problem
have
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 a many
experinces
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
 in
Correct pronoun usage
their job
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, life ,.. .
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite
 life
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 very unvisible
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 old
people
Use synonyms
 can help
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 to
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
wrrang work so
destrict
Correct article usage
the destrict
show examples
 of human
failts
Correct your spelling
failure
 will go down.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,since tired
people
Use synonyms
 almost need
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help
medical
Change preposition
with medical
show examples
servises
Correct your spelling
services
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 have to try to
Add an article
the creative
a creative
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creative
Replace the word
create
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 or
is studied
Wrong verb form
study
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 medical
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 more than before.if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 didn’t invest in
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 we would many old
people
Use synonyms
 that has need many
buget .addition
Correct your spelling
budget addition
 my earth
haven’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
hasn’t
show examples
 infinity sorces many
peopilaction
Correct your spelling
people
 means we search for another
sorce
Correct your spelling
resources
 and destroy
Correct article usage
the enviornment
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 because
people
Use synonyms
 need
sorce
Correct your spelling
resources
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 survive
.
Correct your spelling
However
however
Linking Words
alive
Correct your spelling
the lives
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important but after 100years most
people
Use synonyms
 can not to any things that it’s sad.
Conclusion
In conclusion, government and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 have
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
anxuies
Correct your spelling
anxious
anxieties
 about
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 of
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
 but I think
this
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 problem
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to
coopration
Correct your spelling
cooperation
 and worldwide
decide
Replace the word
decision
show examples
.many countries can use old
people
Use synonyms
 and they can increase
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 of
poiseners
Correct your spelling
poisoners
prisoners
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it’s
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 road
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 solve
this
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 problem.

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logical structure
Make sure your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your arguments in an organized manner.
supported main points
Work on developing clear and coherent main points within your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by explanations or examples.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and reflect the main ideas of your essay. The introduction should present the topic and your viewpoint, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to express complex ideas clearly and comprehensively. This includes being precise and avoiding overly broad statements.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and engaging for the reader.
complete response
You engaged with both views of the topic, presenting arguments for and against the ageing population, which shows an understanding of the task requirement.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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