Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many individuals think that the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
safe
Replace the word
safety
show examples
and
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
during
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
demand. In my opinion, I
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
agree with
this
statement, because it will bring a lot of discussion and negative effects. On the one hand,
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
likes
Add a missing verb
are likes
show examples
a gift for their
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
and members, if
shops
and
malls
want to popularity their
products
for everyone.
Moreover
, they need to use sales and
another presents
Replace the adjective
another present
other presents
show examples
for their members to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
membership.
For example
, many famous
malls
do not need to use any
sale
or advertisement to sell their
products
, because it will make their
products
prices fall down.
Therefore
,
sale
Add an article
the sale
a sale
show examples
is not the
last
way to sell costumes, because if the
malls
or
shops
sell with the heart they will bring
the
Change the article
a
show examples
good place for everyone. In the recent,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
shops
will
Verb problem
have become
show examples
popular
in
Change preposition
around
show examples
the world.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals cannot buy the
products
, the reason
during
Change preposition
of
show examples
their salary and advantage.
Firstly
, they do not have enough money or
this
is not really necessary for their
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. Likely, the workers and employers have a low salary,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
should not buy luxury things.
Secondly
, if the
products
just be decorated and not useful, the
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
will not buy
this
equipment and they will save money for their life or their children. In conclusion, the
malls
and
shops
not only
sale
for sell their equipment but
also
they
sale
for their members and
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
everybody. The family have a medium salary, they must pay their money for their life and meals.
Submitted by aitam.dothi on

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task response
Aim to have a clear thesis statement at the beginning. Expressing whether you agree or disagree explicitly helps guide your reader.
coherence
Structure your essay clearly into paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task response
Try to use more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-life or hypothetical examples make your position stronger.
coherence
Pay attention to the accuracy of your vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea you will discuss.
task response
You have a clear stance throughout the essay, which is good for task response.
task response
You've recognized the different perspectives on the topic, showing a good analysis.

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