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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

nowadays genetically modified food products are widespread throughout the world. while proponents of (genetically modified) GM crops ensure that these foods are safe for human consumption and help increase supplies, others argue that their health effects have not been studied long enough. discuss both the advantages and disadvantages

#food #products #world #proponents #gm #crops #foods #consumption #supplies #health #effects
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In
this
 modern world, we have encountered overpopulation. To
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the nutritional demands of
this
 ever-growing society, governments and scientists have to seek a solution. One solution is to employ science to modify
crops
 to have more and higher quality
products
.
This
 issue has brought a special concern regarding the health and environmental dangers of
this
 kind of agricultural product. I would like to start my argument by writing about the benefits of
this
 type of crop. Those people who are in
favor
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favour
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 of
this
 method argue that by genetically modifying the
crops
, food production will increase massively by making
crops
 more resistant to pests.
Secondly
, they believe that by adding vitamins and other minerals the nutritional value of the food will be improved.
For example
, by modifying the gene that can cause allergy in the peanut, the final product will cause less allergic reaction.
Moreover
, these changes in genes might keep the
products
 fresh for a much longer period so there will be less waste.
On the other hand
, people who are opposed to
this
 concept claim that we do not have enough knowledge regarding the long-term impacts these kind of
products
 have on human health.
In addition
,
this
 industry has not been able to prove that it is safe for both human beings and the environment.
For instance
, there is some evidence which reveals that these modified
crops
 might have devastating effects on other plants and wildlife populations. In conclusion, based on what is discussed above, in my point of view, both arguments are legitimate.
In other words
,
along with
 the obvious benefits, these
products
 can have irreversible destructive impacts.
Accordingly
, more long-term studies should be carried out before the spread use in the future.
Submitted by bryan.dasco on

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task achievement
Try to develop your examples further to add depth to your argument. While you've provided clear examples, expanding on them with more detail or additional illustrations could enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider diversifying your linking phrases and transition words to improve the flow and readability of your essay. You've shown good use of coherence mechanisms, but a greater variety could add sophistication.
introduction and conclusion
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay, tying your arguments together effectively.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and contribute to the overall argument, showing good understanding of the topic.
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