IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Transport
Use synonyms
 pollution is a pressing matter in many countries. To tackle
this
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 problem, it is assumed that authorities should fund the public
transport
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 system.
Also
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, reducing its charge could result in more usage of public
transport
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 among
people
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. Nowadays, individuals tend to prefer owning private transportation rather than utilizing public transportation.
Thus
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, the reason behind it is comfort. Using a vehicle with plenty of
people
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 means that it is crowded and uncomfortable.
In addition
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, the customers need to follow to timetable which cannot get
along with
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 everyone's schedule.
However
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, having a private car or bike would save time and offer more freedom to individuals. In some cases,
people
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must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need a car because they have children or have to stop at a number of locations daily.
For example
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, if you have kids, you must drop off them first at their school or kindergarten.
Nevertheless
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, there are numerous choices
such
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 as bikes, scooters and so on which create zero contamination in the environment.
As a result
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, governments investing in public
transport
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 could have lower consequences as it was expected to be, even though, cars can pollute areas more, for some individuals it is mandatory.
Nonetheless
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, others can still own private
vehicles
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, but not contaminate nature.
On the other hand
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, it is true that if public
transport
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 systems improve, it would attract much more passengers.
Therefore
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, decreasing the fee of public transportation would offer reasonable prices for those who cannot afford their own private
vehicles
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. On top of that, governments can not only support public
transport
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 but encourage
people
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 to own bikes and scooters.
For instance
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, cities that are very crowded are not available to install
vehicles
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 that are adequate for their population, in
this
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 case, it is effective for citizens to have
vehicles
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such
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 as bikes. In conclusion, putting money into developing public
transport
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 could attract more passengers , but there are other ways that would have better outcomes.
Moreover
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, the contamination level of
vehicles
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 would not decrease considerably.

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task achievement
Make sure to develop your argument more evenly. While you've discussed the limitations of investing in public transport well, it's crucial to explore more thoroughly how these investments, alongside reduced ticket prices, could positively impact pollution through increased public transport usage.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to structure your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have a single main idea that is introduced, explained, and then concluded. Additionally, consider using a wider range of linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
When presenting examples, ensure they are directly relevant and clearly support your argument. While discussing alternative transportation like bikes and scooters is valid, directly connect these examples to how they can substantially reduce pollution in the context of public transport investment and ticket price reduction.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced view by addressing both the benefits and limitations of government investments in public transport and reducing ticket prices, which is important for a complete discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing the essay's discussion and summarizing the main points made, which is excellent for guiding the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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