IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is thiss happening? Do you think this will hace a positive or negative impact on society?

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In the
digital's
Change noun form
digital
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ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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, modern
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
 and artificial
intelliegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 are being innovated to alter human life in working. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that competing between many
countries
Use synonyms
 in the world
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is burgeoning in developing rate in
technology
Use synonyms
 whilst
this
Linking Words
 alosa have a benefit in improving global
economy
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. It should be understood that day by
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
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 every
countries
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 find methods to improve their
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as developing
technology
Use synonyms
. The explain
further
Linking Words
, robots are convenient in helping
blue - collar
Correct your spelling
blue-collar
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 reduce the amount of time and energy we
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, artificial intelligence has a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving and organising data in a short time.
As a result
Linking Words
,
thiss
Correct your spelling
this
 will increase
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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economy
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Intel
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a large technological company has invested a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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 using robots and artificial intelligence in Vietnam.
their
Replace the word
there
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 is a point thar worth considering
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people are globalizing
technology
Use synonyms
 so they will improve
technology
Use synonyms
 as their strength to improve
technology
Use synonyms
 as their strength to improve
economy
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. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, having the latest
technology
Use synonyms
 which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to being invested by many
countries
Use synonyms
 in the world.
For example
Linking Words
, VN is the first
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
create
Fix the infinitive
to create
show examples
 5G Internet. In conclusion, robots and AI are replacing
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 because of globalization and
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
.

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Grammar and Spelling
It's evident that you understand the core of the assignment with good intentions to provide meaningful examples. To improve, consider focusing more on proofreading to fix typographical errors ('thar' instead of 'that', 'thiss' instead of 'this', etc.) which can enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Structure
Your arguments could be strengthened by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea, supported by specific examples or further explanation. This would significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Depth of Analysis
While mentioning the developments and impacts of robots and artificial intelligence, your essay would benefit from a deeper exploration of the societal implications, both positive and negative, of these technologies. This would ensure a more comprehensive response to the task.
Use of Examples
You have effectively used examples to support your points, such as the mention of Intel investing in technology in Vietnam, which concretely demonstrates the economic benefits of technological advancement.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present which is commendable as it structures your essay, providing a clear starting and ending point for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Technological advancements
  • Cost efficiency
  • Precision
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Job displacement
  • Skill development
  • Consumer demand
  • Human error
  • Complex tasks
  • Repetitive tasks
What to do next:
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