Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is thiss happening? Do you think this will hace a positive or negative impact on society?
In the
digital's
Change noun form
digital
ages
, modern Fix the agreement mistake
age
technology
such
as robot
and artificial Fix the agreement mistake
robots
intelliegence
are being innovated to alter human life in working. The writer of Correct your spelling
intelligence
this
essay believes that competing between many countries
in the world which
is burgeoning in developing rate in Correct pronoun usage
apply
technology
whilst this
alosa have a benefit in improving global economy
.
It should be understood that day by days
every Fix the agreement mistake
day
countries
find methods to improve their countries
such
as developing technology
. The explain further
, robots are convenient in helping blue - collar
Correct your spelling
blue-collar
worker
reduce the amount of time and energy we Fix the agreement mistake
workers
spent
. Wrong verb form
spend
In addition
, artificial intelligence has a great impact in
solving and organising data in a short time. Change preposition
on
As a result
, thiss
will increase Correct your spelling
this
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
economy
.For instance
, Intel is
a large technological company has invested a Unnecessary verb
apply
lot
money Add the preposition
lot of
for
Change preposition
in
factory
using robots and artificial intelligence in Vietnam.
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
their
is a point thar worth considering Replace the word
there
that
people are globalizing Correct word choice
apply
technology
so they will improve technology
as their strength to improve technology
as their strength to improve economy
. In details
, having the latest Fix the agreement mistake
detail
technology
which lead
to being invested by many Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
countries
in the world. For example
, VN is the first county
Correct your spelling
country
create
5G Internet.
In conclusion, robots and AI are replacing Fix the infinitive
to create
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
worker
because of globalization and Fix the agreement mistake
workers
Correct article usage
the increasing
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
economy
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Grammar and Spelling
It's evident that you understand the core of the assignment with good intentions to provide meaningful examples. To improve, consider focusing more on proofreading to fix typographical errors ('thar' instead of 'that', 'thiss' instead of 'this', etc.) which can enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Structure
Your arguments could be strengthened by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea, supported by specific examples or further explanation. This would significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Depth of Analysis
While mentioning the developments and impacts of robots and artificial intelligence, your essay would benefit from a deeper exploration of the societal implications, both positive and negative, of these technologies. This would ensure a more comprehensive response to the task.
Use of Examples
You have effectively used examples to support your points, such as the mention of Intel investing in technology in Vietnam, which concretely demonstrates the economic benefits of technological advancement.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present which is commendable as it structures your essay, providing a clear starting and ending point for the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.