Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is thiss happening? Do you think this will hace a positive or negative impact on society?

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In the
digital's
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digital

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ages
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age

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, modern
technology
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
robot
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robots

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and artificial
intelliegence
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intelligence

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are being innovated to alter human life in working. The writer of
this
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essay believes that competing between many
countries
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in the world
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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is burgeoning in developing rate in
technology
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whilst
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

alosa have a benefit in improving global
economy
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. It should be understood that day by
days
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day

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every
countries
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find methods to improve their
countries
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such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as developing
technology
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. The explain
further
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, robots are convenient in helping
blue - collar
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blue-collar

The word blue - collar seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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worker
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workers

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reduce the amount of time and energy we
spent
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spend

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.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, artificial intelligence has a great impact
in
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on

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solving and organising data in a short time.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
thiss
Correct your spelling
this

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will increase
country's
Correct article usage
the country's

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economy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Intel
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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a large technological company has invested a
lot
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lot of

It appears that you are missing a preposition after a lot. Consider adding a preposition.

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money
for
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in

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factory
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factories

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using robots and artificial intelligence in Vietnam.
their
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there

The word their may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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is a point thar worth considering
that
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apply

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people are globalizing
technology
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so they will improve
technology
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as their strength to improve
technology
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as their strength to improve
economy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
details
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detail

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, having the latest
technology
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which
lead
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leads

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to being invested by many
countries
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in the world.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, VN is the first
county
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country

The word county doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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create
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to create

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5G Internet. In conclusion, robots and AI are replacing
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workers

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worker
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workers

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because of globalization and
Correct article usage
the increasing
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increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing

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economy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Grammar and Spelling
It's evident that you understand the core of the assignment with good intentions to provide meaningful examples. To improve, consider focusing more on proofreading to fix typographical errors ('thar' instead of 'that', 'thiss' instead of 'this', etc.) which can enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Structure
Your arguments could be strengthened by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea, supported by specific examples or further explanation. This would significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Depth of Analysis
While mentioning the developments and impacts of robots and artificial intelligence, your essay would benefit from a deeper exploration of the societal implications, both positive and negative, of these technologies. This would ensure a more comprehensive response to the task.
Use of Examples
You have effectively used examples to support your points, such as the mention of Intel investing in technology in Vietnam, which concretely demonstrates the economic benefits of technological advancement.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present which is commendable as it structures your essay, providing a clear starting and ending point for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Technological advancements
  • Cost efficiency
  • Precision
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Job displacement
  • Skill development
  • Consumer demand
  • Human error
  • Complex tasks
  • Repetitive tasks
What to do next:
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