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Band 4.5

robots and AI are being replaced humans in the workplace Why this happening?

#robots #humans #workplace
In the
digitial
Correct your spelling
digital
 age, modern
technology
such
 as
robots
 and AI are being innovated to alter humans in the workplace.
This
 writer of
this
 essay believes that competing between many countries in the world is burgeoning in developing rate in
technology
 whilst
this
also
 have a benefit in improving global
economy
. It should be understood that day by day every
country
 finds their way to improve their
country
such
 as developing
technology
. To explain
further
,
robots
 are convenient in helping blue-collar workers reduce the amount of time and energy we spend.
In addition
 artificial in solving and organising data in a short time.
As a result
,
this
 will increase the
country
's
economy
.
For instance
, Intel a large technological company has invested lots of money in factories using
robots
 and AI in Vietnam. It is worth considering that people are globalizing
technology
 as their strength to impact the
economy
. In detail, having the latest
technology
 in which led to being invested by many countries in the world. Vietnam is the first
country
 to create 5g Internet. In conclusion ,
robots
 and AI are replacing workers because of globalization and increasing
economy
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task achievement
Try to expand your points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving its purpose clearly.
coherence cohesion
Using transition words can greatly improve the flow of your essay, making it more cohesive.
positive
Your introduction sets the scene for the discussion on how technology is impacting the workplace.
positive
You included relevant examples, like the reference to Intel in Vietnam, which helps ground your arguments in reality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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