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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
Some populations believe strict
rules
while
 driving are essential in order to rule out accidental crashes on the
road
while
 others assume that
besides
 making
rules
 it is way much better to enhance safety
while
 on the
road
. Personally, I choose to replace
road
's environmental damage is important to reduce any accidents. On one hand, strict punishments
while
 driving will allow
people
 to avoid violations regarding
traffic
 that eventually can cause
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
 effects to the surrounding population forward, and building
rules
 to protect the sidewalk will genuinely help them feel safer
while
 doing their daily activities.
Additionally
, It will be more advantageous for drivers
due to
 not only building a safe ecosystem for
sidewalkers
Correct your spelling
sidewalks
 but
also
 they can able to protect themselves from any harmful situation
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
road
 ahead.
On the other hand
, Some
people
 tend to pick fixing some roads for safety purposes preferred so much. Having a good facility
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 clear sign for the
driver
, wider space for
sidewalk
Correct article usage
the sidewalk
show examples
 and
driver
, and
also
 giving better travel experiences would be a good opportunity to make both of them feel more convenient.
Moreover
,
this
 effort can reduce the number of
traffic
 USE SYNONYMS freightgridlockinfluxmovementserviceshipmenttransittransporttransportationtravel It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. in some areas, particularly in the cities.
For instance
, a capital city like Indonesia has tons of
traffic
 everywhere
due to
 a lack of facilities for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
,
however
,
this
 could be solved if the government chose to put more attention to improving
road
 safety,
also
this
 would
be
Rephrase
also be
show examples
 beneficial for the environment in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term. In conclusion, I still stick with the assumption that carrying out changes along the
road
 will be beneficial in the long term
instead
 of stricter
rules
 to drive for
people
 because of reduces
traffic
 in some places and is convenient in some way for each sidewalker or
driver
. In my opinion,
people
 tend to break the
rules
 especially when they are not really convinced by their way
while
 driving home.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in your ideas and stick to one viewpoint towards the end to avoid confusing the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and showcase your language skills.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints effectively, providing a well-rounded discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively encapsulate your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained logical flow and coherence throughout the essay, which made it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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