Some people think that sport has significant impact on the society, others think that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Sports

Use synonyms

play an integral part in human life. A number of

people

Use synonyms

advocate that competitive games are very impactful for the Society.

However

Linking Words

; others claim in opposite stating that it is only a pastime activity for the folks.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

and shed light on my opinion. To commence with, physical activities

fosters

Correct subject-verb agreement

foster

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of unity,

co-operation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

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and brotherhood among players

while

Linking Words

playing for their teams and nation. It contributes to social integration, which helps in bridging societal gaps.

For example

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;

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

community

sports

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leagues can connect

people

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from various backgrounds, facilitating mutual respect and understanding.

Therefore

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; it

showcase

Change the verb form

showcases

show examples

the sense of belonging and collective joy among teams of different nations.

As a result

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, they can drive social change by advocating against issues like racism,

sexism

Correct word choice

and sexism

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and advocate for equality and justice.

Moreover

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recreation

Replace the word

recreational

show examples

activities

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

Verb problem

apply

show examples

maintain a healthy

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

along with

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achieving their dreams.

However

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, many

people

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regard competitive games as

pastime

Add an article

a pastime

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only. They opine that in

this

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modern era, everyone has limited time to

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

, regardless of their hectic work schedule. Many individuals just go to the gym and play some indoor games like

table-tennis

Correct your spelling

table tennis

show examples

and basketball.

Besides

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that, the business aspect of

sports

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, with its focus on entertainment and commercial gains, has diluted its societal impact. The commercialization of

the

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apply

show examples

sports

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often prioritizes profit over player well-being and community engagement.

To conclude

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while

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many persons hold the view that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

are only a leisure activity

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

in my perspective

sports

Use synonyms

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not only

serves

Correct subject-verb agreement

serve

show examples

as a physical activity but

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

influence extends far beyond, acting as a catalyst for unity, social change and community development.

bawanpreet070Wed Apr 03 2024

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Grammar and Punctuation

Be wary of small grammatical errors, such as capitalizing the first letter after semicolons, and ensure consistency in punctuation usage.

Specific Examples

Enhance your argument by providing more varied and specific examples. This could further strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.

Vocabulary and Sentence Variety

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to vividly convey your ideas and keep the reader engaged throughout your essay.

Topic Handling

You did a fantastic job discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which shows good handling of the essay topic.

Introduction and Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion were clear, directly addressing the essay question and summarizing your main points.

Structure and Cohesion

The logical flow and structure of your essay made it easy to follow your arguments, demonstrating good use of paragraphing and linking words.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
national pride
integration
mutual respect
advocate for equality
influencing societal attitudes
leisure activity
physical and mental health benefits
commercialization
catalyst for unity
societal impact
multifaceted role

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Some people think that sport has significant impact on the society, others think that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that the only reason for learning a new foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Despite health warning,a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.Why should we be concerned about this ?What solutions would you suggest?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?