Some people think that sport has significant impact on the society, others think that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sports
play an integral part in human life. A number of
people
advocate that competitive games are very impactful for the Society.
However
; others claim in opposite stating that it is only a pastime activity for the folks.
This
essay will discuss both
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
and shed light on my opinion. To commence with, physical activities
fosters
Correct subject-verb agreement
foster
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the
Correct article usage
a
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sense of unity,
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
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and brotherhood among players
while
playing for their teams and nation. It contributes to social integration, which helps in bridging societal gaps.
For example
;
the
Correct article usage
apply
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community
sports
leagues can connect
people
from various backgrounds, facilitating mutual respect and understanding.
Therefore
; it
showcase
Change the verb form
showcases
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the sense of belonging and collective joy among teams of different nations.
As a result
, they can drive social change by advocating against issues like racism,
sexism
Correct word choice
and sexism
show examples
and advocate for equality and justice.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recreation
Replace the word
recreational
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activities
helps
Change the verb form
help
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
people
to
Verb problem
apply
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maintain a healthy
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
along with
achieving their dreams.
However
, many
people
regard competitive games as
pastime
Add an article
a pastime
show examples
only. They opine that in
this
modern era, everyone has limited time to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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on
sports
, regardless of their hectic work schedule. Many individuals just go to the gym and play some indoor games like
table-tennis
Correct your spelling
table tennis
show examples
and basketball.
Besides
that, the business aspect of
sports
, with its focus on entertainment and commercial gains, has diluted its societal impact. The commercialization of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
often prioritizes profit over player well-being and community engagement.
To conclude
,
while
many persons hold the view that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
are only a leisure activity
but
Correct word choice
apply
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in my perspective
sports
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not only
serves
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serve
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as a physical activity but
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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influence extends far beyond, acting as a catalyst for unity, social change and community development.
Submitted by bawanpreet070 on

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Grammar and Punctuation
Be wary of small grammatical errors, such as capitalizing the first letter after semicolons, and ensure consistency in punctuation usage.
Specific Examples
Enhance your argument by providing more varied and specific examples. This could further strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.
Vocabulary and Sentence Variety
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to vividly convey your ideas and keep the reader engaged throughout your essay.
Topic Handling
You did a fantastic job discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which shows good handling of the essay topic.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion were clear, directly addressing the essay question and summarizing your main points.
Structure and Cohesion
The logical flow and structure of your essay made it easy to follow your arguments, demonstrating good use of paragraphing and linking words.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • national pride
  • integration
  • mutual respect
  • advocate for equality
  • influencing societal attitudes
  • leisure activity
  • physical and mental health benefits
  • commercialization
  • catalyst for unity
  • societal impact
  • multifaceted role
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