Write about the following topic: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your ownknowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is true that people usually will not suggest others
to
take a Fix the infinitive
apply
risk
as it may lead to a total lost
, but I believe that the Replace the word
loss
benifits
of taking Correct your spelling
benefits
risks
are way more than the drawbacks.
Obviously, taking risks
means a grab of the opportunity to success
. There are old sayings Replace the word
succeed
goes
like "no pain, no gain". Verb problem
apply
Success
can not be easily gained, therefore
it is the person who have
the courage to take the Change the verb form
has
risk
and grab the opportunity can
approach Correct pronoun usage
that can
to
Remove the preposition
apply
success
. Take the most wealthy man Ma Yun for example
. When he was young, he dropped school before he decided to start his own company. It was an entirely new corporation then
, nobody trust
that he Wrong verb form
trusted
can
succeed. No wonder, Wrong verb form
could
quit
school to Wrong verb form
quitting
extabilish
a company which totally started a new Correct your spelling
establish
corporate
is a Replace the word
corporation
risk
. However
, he choose
to take the Wrong verb form
chose
risk
, and with his efforts, he finally
reached his goal. Similarly
, Steven Jobs had the same story with him. Therefore
, I hold the view that taking risks
means grabbing an opportunity to succeed.
Moreover
, taking risks
taught people how to be responsible of
themselves. It is obvious that a Change preposition
for
risk
can contribute to extra
bonus, but it is the possible failure it may Correct article usage
an extra
caused
that Wrong verb form
cause
droves
people back. Replace the word
drives
However
, I believe that evaluate
the possibility of failure and Wrong verb form
evaluating
take
the Wrong verb form
taking
respensibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
their decision whether to take the Change preposition
for
risk
or not is important for adults. In order to be responsible for their own life, the decision will be considered more serious. Therefore
, the risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
become
more meaningful Wrong verb form
becomes
eventhough
you may experience a Correct your spelling
even though
lost
.
Replace the word
loss
Overall
, discussing about
both Remove the preposition
apply
success
and Correct article usage
the success
fail
Replace the word
failure
result
of taking a Fix the agreement mistake
results
risk
, I believe that the advantages of it overweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by 1434110674 on
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Language accuracy
Ensure consistency in spelling (benefit not 'benifit', established not 'extabilish', weigh not 'overweigh') and grammar for clarity and professionalism.
Sentence variability
Try to diversify your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
Tone of writing
Use formal language consistently avoiding informal terms or expressions.
Task response
You made a clear argument emphasizing the advantages of taking risks, addressing the essay topic directly.
Essay structure
Your essay was well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Use of examples
You provided concrete examples (Ma Yun, Steve Jobs) to support your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example