You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is widely accepted by some college
students
that learning
dfferent
Correct your spelling
different
lessons which are not related to major
studys
Correct your spelling
studies
study
while
others tend to suppose that
students
need to focus on only main
subjects
at
university
. If
university
students
gain the opportunity to learn other
subjects
in addition
, they are more likely to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge including various areas which may make them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
capable
to solve
Change preposition
of solving
show examples
mixed problems.
For example
, if a student majoring in literacy
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
show examples
to study technology, he or she will earn preference in workplaces
due to
his/her mind with a background of
mixed-
Correct your spelling
mixed subjects
show examples
subjects
.
By contrast
, paying attention to main
subjects
is reasonable as it is beneficial for
students
to better understand the knowledge and theories of a specific area which may help these people become professionals in the future.
For instance
, people may be able to become famous and well-manipulated dentists when they put their whole efforts into
teethache
Correct your spelling
toothache
teeth ache
treatments
Change the noun form
treatment
show examples
studies during
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
period. In my opinion,
university
students
have
Correct article usage
the rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to learn different
subjects
to discover their interests and potential talents to lead to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better job prospects in the future. To
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
this
, colleges can develop educational institutions to encourage
students
to choose
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
show examples
clsses
Correct your spelling
classes
based on their choices.
However
, college
students
still need to pay attention to their major classes seriously at the same time, because only the outcome of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects
can show their learning abilities which are the most important aspects during job interviews when they try hard to seek
for
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apply
show examples
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
.
To sum up
,
students
should try hard to make progress and perform better on main
subjects
,
while
it is
also
significant for them to develop
further
education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
other areas to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rounded minds.
Submitted by 1434110674 on

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style
Try to vary your sentence structures to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging.
grammar/spelling
Check for minor spelling mistakes, such as 'dfferent' instead of 'different' and 'literacy' for what might have been intended as 'literature'.
content depth
For a higher score, consider balancing the advantages and disadvantages more distinctly by giving more detailed examples.
argument depth
An effective way to enhance your argument is by directly addressing potential counter-arguments, giving you a chance to further demonstrate your critical thinking skills.
balanced view
You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, considering both the benefits of learning additional subjects and focusing solely on one's major.
strong conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points, reinforcing your stance and making for a strong close to your essay.
use of examples
You used relevant examples to support your points, making your arguments more concrete and understandable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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