Health care should not be provided for free regardless of a person’s income. The health of citizens is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The growing belief
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
accessible
Replace the word
accessibility
show examples
of
healthcare
systems has raised concerns, especially for those who assume that each person should be able to count on themselves regarding
health
conditions
, which eventually embarks an opinion that
people
should be
charges
Wrong verb form
charged
show examples
if using the systems. I remarkably
disgaree
Correct your spelling
disagree
disagreed
with that notion, and
this
essay will discuss my reasons behind that position. Not every
people
has
privilege
Change the article
the privilege
show examples
to have access
in
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to
show examples
decent
health
services
. Take,
for example
, the older
people
who live in rural areas where they are isolated from proper
healthcare
facilities and equipment. Obviously, they will need high
coverages
Fix the agreement mistake
coverage
show examples
to receive those treatments. Reflecting the
conditions
that they may not have any
saving
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savings
show examples
since they are unemployed, the responsibility to pay for the costs will be unbearable, which later can cause financial difficulties, resulting in higher
rate
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rates
show examples
of
debts
Fix the agreement mistake
debt
show examples
.
Thus
, it can be argued that it will negatively impact their economy in the long run.
Moreover
, the policy to charge solely on citizens is
injustificable
Correct your spelling
unjustifiable
. Even though it is true that each person should be responsible for their own
health
conditions
, it is not the only factor that contributes to the necessity for accessing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
services
. External factors
such
as air pollution,
virus
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viruses
show examples
and natural disasters are likely
contribute
Add the particle
to contribute
show examples
to the healthiness level of citizens, which can be derived from the failure of programmes that should be established by municipalities in order to alleviate the risks of the given phenomena.
Hence
, it can be said that local authorities should
also
take part
to fund
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in funding
show examples
the provision of
healthcare
systems to its citizens.
To conclude
, I completely disagree with the sentiment that the costs for retrieving
healthcare
services
should be solely
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted
to
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for by
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
since it is their responsibility.
Although
that statement
true
Add a missing verb
is true
show examples
, the fact
health
conditions
are
also
influenced by external factors, and not every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
an equal privilege to access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
services
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
my view
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the given statement.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Response
Ensure you directly address all parts of the task prompt in both the introduction and conclusion. Clearly stating your position at the beginning will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linkers and cohesive devices to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is logically structured, varying your transitional phrases will enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Support your viewpoints with a broader range of examples and evidence. Incorporating more detailed instances will enrich your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done well in organizing your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Response
Your essay effectively conveys your stance on the issue, offering a reasoned argument throughout.
Task Achievement
You successfully integrate examples to support your points, though more variety and detail could further strengthen your essay.

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