Some people think that water is the most important natural resource. Others believe that other resources (such as oil and gold) are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, resources and supplies have a high value in the environment. Some argue that the
first
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place of sources belongs to
water
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,
while
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other people believe there are more vital supplies like oil. In my perspective,
water
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is the main feature, existing in
this
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world.
Hence
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, In
this
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essay, I will delve into both statements. On the one hand,
water
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be considered as a mother of nature. To clarify, it is
widly
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widely
accepted that flora and
fuana
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fauna
need
water
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to stay alive.
For instance
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, many
first
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villages and
fram
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farm
lands
located
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were located
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near rivers, lakes, and the sea in the past.
Furthermore
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, most farmers need
water
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to plant and grow their products, necessary to use as
human's
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human
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food. Needless to say, any human
need
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needs
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to drink at least 7
glass
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glasses
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of
water
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in a day
as well as
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other creatures
in
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on
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this
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planet.
As a result
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,
human's
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humans
human
show examples
survive
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survival
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is required
Wrong verb form
requires
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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water
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as the most important thing suppliment.
In
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On
show examples
the other hand, other features like fuel, wind, and gold might be necessary in order to process and
development
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develop
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. Clearly, industry
need
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needs
show examples
first
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material to produce some
out-puts
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outputs
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like vehicles, tools and more things,
can
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that can
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help humans to do their tasks.
For example
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, the
jewerelly
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jewellery
productions use gold to make beautiful ears and
necklesses
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necklaces
neckless
or stones are mostly required for building.
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
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transportation is another area,
independing
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depending
in
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on
show examples
these sources like wind and oil. Obviously, most ships are moved by wind and most
cars
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cars'
car's
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motors work with fuel,
extrcating
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extracting
extricating
extraction
by oil.
Consequently
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, many contents are
cruial
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crucial
for technology development and
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the humans
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humans
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human
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future. In conclusion,
while
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some individuals think
water
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is the
first
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priority of
human
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humans
show examples
, others argue that there are many other important resources. In my view,
water
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have
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has
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been
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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supply to
keep
Verb problem
apply
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survive, despite the fact that other features can be effective
to improve
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in improving
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quality of life.
Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on

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coherence cohesion
Be cautious with grammar and punctuation errors to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Consider developing your examples further to strengthen your arguments and task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear differentiation between 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to enhance contrast in viewpoints.
task achievement
Refine the use of vocabulary for precise expression, focusing on correct terminology (e.g., 'flora and fuana' should be 'flora and fauna').
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction of contrast in viewpoints on the importance of natural resources.
task achievement
Detailed exploration of both perspectives on the topic, demonstrating a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
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