The graph gives information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. Write 150 words.

The graph gives information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. Write 150 words.
The line chart provides key information about the gym
membership
of both
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
gender from the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be seen that most of the time, the
membership
of men was higher than that of women.
In addition
, the males'
membership
was above the females in the beginning,
whereas
, it was the opposite by the end of the period.
According to
what is shown,
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
membership
began, at about 2000, in 1980, and it rose sharply to less than 4000 by 1985.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, it declined dramatically to about 1500, in 1995. Following that, it jumped to around 5000 by 2005,
then
dropped swiftly to less than 1000. In terms of female
membership
, it started, at approximately 1000, in 1980. Even though it increased gradually, it experienced fluctuations over the years and reached a peak of about 2800, in 1995 and 2005.
Finally
, it dropped gradually to less than 2000, in 2010.
Submitted by sm710129 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words membership with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Steady increase
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Peak
  • Surge
  • Membership uptake
  • Gender disparity
  • Health consciousness
  • Fitness regimes
  • Societal norms
  • Technological advancements
  • Demographic shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: