Many food and drink prodcuts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary Products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are massive

products

Use synonyms

contain

Correct pronoun usage

that contain

show examples

high-level of

sugars

Fix the agreement mistake

sugar

show examples

, and these

products

Use synonyms

should be more

pricy

Correct word choice

expensive

show examples

because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

arises

Verb problem

cause

show examples

health issues,

as a result

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

usage will decrease.

This

Linking Words

essay essay will delve into why

sugar

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

should be expensive,

along with

Linking Words

related examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there are many health issues caused by cheaper and unhealthy

products

Use synonyms

which usually contain high

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

. If sugary

products

Use synonyms

are expensive,

people

Use synonyms

generally will not buy them.

This

Linking Words

is because the price

is often change

Change the verb form

often changes

show examples

customer behaviour, especially if it is expensive.

For example

Linking Words

, in Mongolia, fruits are expensive, apparently, not everyone

cannot

Rephrase

can

show examples

afford them.

Instead

Linking Words

of that most

people

Use synonyms

consume fried dough which contains too much

sugar

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

people

Use synonyms

do not know about the drawbacks of using too

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

sweety

Correct your spelling

sweet

show examples

products

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because high-level

sugar

Use synonyms

can lead to addiction,

such

Linking Words

as craving more and more

sugar

Use synonyms

when human organs eat

sugar

Use synonyms

. If individuals had

well

Add a missing verb

been well

show examples

awared

Correct your spelling

aware

about

Change preposition

show examples

it, most

people

Use synonyms

would not have

comsumed

Correct your spelling

consumed

comsumed

Correct your spelling

consumed

consumer

products

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation has

becoming

Change the verb form

become

show examples

well understood the nutrition facts, as it is one part of

subject

Add an article

the subject

show examples

in the

secandary

Correct your spelling

secondary

school.

Consequently

Linking Words

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

generation

likely

Add a missing verb

is likely

show examples

to care

their

Change preposition

about their

show examples

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

being and fitness rather than

Add an article

the previous

show examples

generation.

To conclude

Linking Words

, sugary

products

Use synonyms

should be expensive, so that customer behaviour will change easily. Many

people

Use synonyms

do not know about

negative

Add an article

the negative

show examples

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

of consuming high-level

sugar

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that increase awareness would be one of the important

approach

Fix the agreement mistake

approaches

show examples

, which has already

perceived

Add a missing verb

been perceived

show examples

within

Change preposition

show examples

the youths because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

secondary school started to teach

this

Linking Words

concept.

zulzayanyamkhuWed Apr 03 2024

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grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct typographical errors and improve readability.

structure

Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct introductions, body sections, and conclusions to improve structure.

vocabulary

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the complexity of your writing.

examples

Provide more diverse and specific examples to strongly support your points.

structure

You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice for essay writing.

argument

Your essay provides clear arguments for your position, directly addressing the essay prompt.

examples

You've used real-world examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar tax
sin taxes
public health
consumption
health risks
pricing strategy
reformulate
cost-effective alternatives
awareness campaigns
nutritional education

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Many food and drink prodcuts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary Products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking outweigh the disadvantages?

scientits and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists? to what extent do you agree?

Write a letter to the cinema manager to inform him/her that you have lost your bag in the cinema. In your letter you should: Tell exactly what happened and when - Explain where you think you left the bag - Ask the manager to help find your bag

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?