The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

#proportion #population #three #countries

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The given line graph illustrates

Percentage

Correct article usage

the Percentage

show examples

of People aged 65 and over from

Period

Correct article usage

the Period

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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1940 and

also

Linking Words

Predict for 2040. Japan will be the one which will have

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

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Proportion of elder People followed by Sweden and

USA

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the USA

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as Per

datas

Correct your spelling

data

Japan had the lowest Population

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apply

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57 in 1940 as compared with Sweden

as well as

Linking Words

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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. During the period of 1960 to 1990, were that stage Where Proportion of elder

individual

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individuals

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reached

Remove the preposition

apply

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3% and

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

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Stable till 1990.

However

Linking Words

, after

that

Add a comma

that,

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Started

Fix capitalization

started

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growing gradually and

then

Linking Words

escalated to 10% in 2023.

According to

Linking Words

chart

Correct article usage

the chart

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, Japan will have

dramatically

Replace the word

a dramatic

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rise in 2040 and it will sharply reach

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

28% which will be

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

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arnong

Correct your spelling

among

all countries. Meanwhile,

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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and

sweden

Change the capitalization

Sweden

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were the countries which had

Percentage

Correct article usage

a Percentage

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below 10% of aged 65 and over

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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. Both the nations showed

upward

Add an article

an upward

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trend and

Correct pronoun usage

they

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will have above.. 20% of

elder

Replace the word

elderly

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People in 2040.

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

more and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign country. do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?