The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

#proportion #population #three #countries

The given line graph illustrates

Percentage

Correct article usage

the Percentage

show examples

of People aged 65 and over from

Period

Correct article usage

the Period

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

1940 and

also

Predict for 2040. Japan will be the one which will have

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

Proportion of elder People followed by Sweden and

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

as Per

datas

Correct your spelling

data

Japan had the lowest Population

Change preposition

apply

show examples

57 in 1940 as compared with Sweden

as well as

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

. During the period of 1960 to 1990, were that stage Where Proportion of elder

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

reached

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

3% and

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

Stable till 1990.

However

, after

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

Started

Fix capitalization

started

show examples

growing gradually and

then

escalated to 10% in 2023.

According to

chart

Correct article usage

the chart

show examples

, Japan will have

dramatically

Replace the word

a dramatic

show examples

rise in 2040 and it will sharply reach

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

28% which will be

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

arnong

Correct your spelling

among

all countries. Meanwhile,

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and

sweden

Change the capitalization

Sweden

show examples

were the countries which had

Percentage

Correct article usage

a Percentage

show examples

below 10% of aged 65 and over

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

. Both the nations showed

upward

Add an article

an upward

show examples

trend and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will have above.. 20% of

elder

Replace the word

elderly

show examples

People in 2040.

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

universites should accept equal number of male and female in every subject ? at what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that companies should manufacture products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be placed on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?