What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of using art in order to help people with emotional and physical conditions?
Nowadays an increasing number of people tend to suffer from physical and mental illnesses. In
this
essay, I am going to discuss pros
and cons of art therapy as a treatment.
Some of the most well-known benefits of art treatment are reducing emotional conflicts, raising self-esteem, exploring emotions, and improving social skills. It is a holistic discipline that allows people to experience new Correct article usage
the pros
way
of usual routines and deepen into themselves. Fix the agreement mistake
ways
According to
a BBC news article, painting helps to lower the level of stress significantly and doing it on a regular basis develops fresh neural connections, which eventually makes a positive outcome on the health condition. Another riveting fact that was observed among a large group of dancers, they are more likely to stay in shape rather than those who do not dance. Thus
, it provides not only mental relaxation but also
socializing within
others from the dance class, better muscle rate in Change preposition
with
body
and, Correct article usage
the body
finally
, confidence.
On the contrary
, some people might argue aforementioned
statement and find downsides. Personally, I believe the most negative outcome of crafting is Correct article usage
the aforementioned
excessive
Correct article usage
the excessive
producing
of hobby appliances. The planet is endangered in terms of garbage pollution and greenhouse gases. It is vital to recycle used materials in order to combat climate change and global warming. Replace the word
production
Moreover
, some artists could go through a quite challenging process of mastering their hobby into a real job. It might be frustrating and energy consuming
, Add a hyphen
energy-consuming
however
, if a person puts enough
effort, they will definitely succeed.
Change preposition
in enough
To sum up
, artwork has plenty of profits because it improves health condition
, raises confidence and helps with inner distress, Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
while
others believe that craftwork affects the environment badly and involves new coming
entrepreneurs Verb problem
apply
into
a tough business, which causes various challenges on their way.Change preposition
in
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coherence
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity throughout.
cohesion
Try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs for better cohesion.
task achievement
Include a wider variety of examples to fully illustrate your points and enhance task achievement.
structure
Efficiently introduced and concluded the essay, providing clear boundaries for discussion.
task response
Presented a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages, effectively covering the task requirements.
example use
Made good use of specific examples, like the BBC news article and observations about dancers, to support your points.