IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given live graph demonstrates average monthly temperatures,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 the
tablechart
Correct your spelling
table chart
 illustrates
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 annual hours of sunshine for
London
, New
York
 and
Sydney
.
Overall
,
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of hours of sunshine per year in
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
 is much less than half of New
York
 and
sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
.
Sydney
 has much
hot
Correct word choice
hotter
show examples
temperature
 compared to both the other cities →
To begin
 with, in January,
Sydney
 has the hottest
temperature
 more than 25
°C
,
while
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
 and New
York
 have less than 10°Cand 5
°C
temperature
 respectively .Afterward of January,
Sydney
's
temperature
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 to drop down till July and
london's
Change the capitalization
London's
show examples
 and New
York
's
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to rise till August and July.
Further
, in July, New
York
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the hottest town with approximately 30
°C
 compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two cities. Following these, the
temperature
 of
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
 to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 after July to 25
°C
 in December.
Lastly
, New
York
's
temperature
 decreases to 5
°C
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
 month of the year
as well as
 there is
also
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in the
temperature
 of
London
 from August to almost 10
°C
 in December. Discussing the table chart, the total annual hours of sunshine in New
York
 and
Sydney
 are 2,535 and 2, 473 and in
London
. it is 1,180 which is less than half of other towns.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, york, sydney, temperature, °c with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: