IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagrams
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the normal
degree
 in these 12 months and
sum
Correct article usage
the sum
show examples
 hours of sunlight during a year in
London
, New
York
 and Sydney.
Overall
, Sydney experienced
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 trend compared to
London
 and New
York
.
According to
 the line charts, it can be seen that
Sydney’
Change noun form
Sydney’s
show examples
 temperatures were the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest between January and March.
However
, the apparent temperatures decreased after March
while
 the other two countries were getting more and more higher. It is noticeable that the temperature reached its lowest point at approximately 8
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 and about 4
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
London
 and New
York
,
this
 temperature increased in those countries 6 months later. And it reached its peak at about 30
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 and
approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
 23
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in July. Based on the data provided, the sum yearly hours of New
York
 had the longest time with 2,535
while
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
London
 only had 1,180.
To sum up
, it is clear from the graph that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 significant correlation between
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of sunlight and
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 sunshine per month.
Submitted by tiger801211574 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degree, london, york with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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