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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information on the gender, marital status and age of employees working in retail and manufacturing industries of a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information on the gender, marital status and age of employees working in retail and manufacturing industries of a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #gender #status #age #employees #industries #country #features #comparisons
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The given table illustrates
workers
Use synonyms
' information who take part in retail and manufacturing companies,
while
Linking Words
 categorised by their gender, marital status and
age
Use synonyms
. From an
overall
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 perspective, it is evident that the majority of manual labour employees
is
Change the verb form
are
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 male, and most of them are married. As can be seen from the statistics, the proportion of male staff working in
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 and production faction are 47% and 65%, in turn, compared to 53% and 35% of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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, respectively.
Moreover
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, the percentage of single
workers
Use synonyms
 in retail and manufacturing are relatively resemblance, at 39% and 31%, in the given order,
similarly
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, the data on married
workers
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 are 615 and 69%,
repsectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Regarding
age
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 bracket, the employee's
age
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 range from 28
years
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 old to 39
years
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 old is the most prevalent in both retail and production sectors, at 36% and 32%,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 the
age
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 group between 40
years
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 old and 51
years
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 old in retail and manufacturing are lower, at 34% and 28%, which take second popular
age
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest number in retail is 4% of above 62
years
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 old group as 7% of 16
years
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 old to 27
years
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 old group in manufacturing.
Finally
Linking Words
, the average
age
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 of
workers
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 who work in retail is 40
years
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 old, compared to 44
years
Use synonyms
 old in that of manual
workers
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.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, age, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • predominant
  • average age range
  • noticeable trends
  • gender distribution
  • marital status
  • striking features
  • defies common stereotypes
  • patterns
  • notably younger or older
  • workforce
  • implications
  • hiring practices
  • work culture
  • marketing strategies
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