The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The pie charts compare the average online

sales

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for retail sectors in New

Zealand

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in 2003 and 2013.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

in 2003 the largest online

sales

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were in the travel sector.

However

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,in 2013 it was

film

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and

music

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Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

in 2003, the lowest online

sales

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In New

Zealand

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were

film

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music

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On the contrary

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in 2013,it was clothes. As the pie charts show, in 2003, the highest online

sales

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were in travel at 36% in New

Zealand

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among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

all retail sectors.

In contrast

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, the lowest figure in online

sales

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was the books sector at 19% in New

Zealand

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Additionally

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,the rate of clothes and

film

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music

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were almost the same. Regarding 2013 online

sales

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, the largest was

film

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music

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at 33% in New

Zealand

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However

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, the smallest retail sector was clothes at 16% in New

Zealand

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.Meanwhile , the rates of travel and books were at 29% and 22% respectively.

makemoneyizzy16Thu Apr 04 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, zealand, film, music with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

150 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Comparative analysis
E-commerce
Retail sectors
Growth rate
Decade
Decline
Trends
Online transactions
Consumer behavior
Market share
Significant increase/decrease
Digital era
Accessibility
User-friendly platform
Market dynamics
Predictive outlook

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents prefer to have their children receive home tuition, an alternative that traditional education teachers have always questioned. What are reasons to support home tuition?