In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
It is evident that
although
we have a high level of cultivaion
, there are still numerous people around the world suffering from Correct your spelling
cultivation
the
famine. I think the different levels between countries may lead to Correct article usage
apply
this
and helping the developing stations be rich can be a good solution.
Nowadays human beings are good at agriculture, however
, many poor areas such
as some African countries are
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
these knowledge
, which is responsible for the Change the determiner
this knowledge
hungry
in those regions. The nations Replace the word
hunger
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
few
knowledge Correct quantifier usage
little
can
not cultivate things well and Wrong verb form
could
as a result
, they do
not have enough Wrong verb form
did
food
to satisfy their people. For instance
, some local tribes in Africa still use the method that was abandoned a century ago to cultivate rice and they are unlikely to obtain enough rice. And because of their poverty, they have difficulty buying food
from the
developed countries Correct article usage
apply
such
as America either. So the civilians there have to tolerate the hunger.
Helping the poor areas establish their own economy
system and be wealthy may contribute to the Replace the word
economic
reduce
of famine. Doing Replace the word
reduction
such
things allows them to purchase food
from other states. What is more, when they are rich and do not need struggle
for Fix the infinitive
to struggle
living
, they will have time to learn Add an article
a living
the
advanced techniques. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, China used to lack food
, but when we earned considerable money, we soon developed our skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
about
agriculture and now we do well in cultivating.
Change preposition
in
To sum up
, the reason for hunger may be the poor regions do not have skills which are good enough to feed themselves and the method can be enabling
them to Wrong verb form
enable
Wrong verb form
find
found
a good economy and be rich.Wrong verb form
find
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task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. You've made a good attempt, but further elaboration on why hunger persists despite agricultural advances could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Try incorporating complex sentences and conjunctions.
coherence cohesion
Check for and correct grammatical errors and typos to ensure clarity. Though minor, they can distract from your overall message.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively structuring your arguments.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the credibility of your arguments.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...