Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages?

#country #tourism

In recent times, delays in transportation and long journey times are the most common

problems

in most big

cities

. Increased usage of personal

vehicles

and continuous

construction

are the biggest causes of

this

phenomenon

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

levying environmental

taxes

and investing in improving the efficiency of

construction

Add an article

the construction

show examples

sector are the most viable solutions.

To begin

with, most people in the big

cities

prefer buying personal

vehicles

leading to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

significant rise in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traffic

problems

As a result

, it takes more time to reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the destination for people using public transport

as well as

private

vehicles

Furthermore

, to accommodate the increasing population, the government has to continually invest in

construction

projects going on in big

cities

which exacerbate these

problems

For example

, in big

cities

like Toronto, there are at least 15

infrastructure

projects running at the same time.

However

, there are several solutions available to solve these

problems

Firstly

, since the usage of private

vehicles

are

Change the verb form

show examples

the biggest reason for traffic congestion, levying environmental

taxes

on the purchase of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal

vehicles

can substantially help

dealing

Change the verb form

to deal

show examples

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

situation.

Additionally

although

infrastructure

development is

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

necessary for the economy as a whole, the government should start considering its negative effects on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

road congestion.

Additionally

infrastructure

Correct article usage

the infrastructure

show examples

sector should be made more effective by using the revenues generated from environmental

taxes

To conclude

, delays in transportation and long journey times indirectly affect the productivity of people, and the increased usage of personal

vehicles

and continuous

construction

are the biggest causes for the same.

However

, levying

taxes

and making

infrastructure

Correct article usage

the infrastructure

show examples

sector more efficient can help

solving

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

this

situation.

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to directly address the essay question in the introduction and throughout the essay for clearer task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, consider linking your ideas more smoothly with a wider range of transitional phrases.

General

For an even stronger essay, incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding in readability and understanding.

Task Achievement

You offered specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and provides clarity to your readers.

Task Achievement

You've successfully covered both causes and solutions to the issue, providing a comprehensive response to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribe by their doctor for their aliments.

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Thank them for the photos and for the holiday Explain why you don't write earlier Invite them to como and stay with you.

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.