The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes and affected three regions of the world during the 1990s
The pie chart illustrates the crucial reasons why agricultural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
becomes
less productive, Correct subject-verb agreement
become
while
the table compares causes
and Correct article usage
the causes
affected
three variety areas of the world during Verb problem
effects in
1990s
.
Change the article
the 1990s
Overall
, over-grazing and deforestation were the biggest issues. Moreover
, Europe had the largest proportion
in
total land degraded.
In detail, the share of over-grazing represented the biggest problem accounting for 35%, Change preposition
of
while
that of deforestation made up the second highest percentage, at 30%. The figure for over-cultivation
problem was 28% and it Add an article
the over-cultivation
four
times higher than that otherAdd a missing verb
was four
for
.
Change preposition
apply
Although
there was not
over-cultivation in Oceania, it comprised the second highest total land degraded Correct your spelling
no
proportion
, at 13%. Europe and North America accounted for the total land degraded proportion
, at 23% and 5% respectively. The percentage of over-grazing in Oceania was doubled that of Europe, at 11.3%. The proportion
of over-grazing constituted less than 2% in
North America. With regard to deforestation, there was all countries less than 10%.Submitted by writingbhos on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼