Employer some time ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies, and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant or useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#employer #time #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests

In the contemporary world, whether

employer

Fix the agreement mistake

employers

show examples

should be allowed to get the personal details of employees or not has sparked controversial opinions, with advocates and critics both representing valid arguments.

This

essay will analyze both perspectives and will

subsequently

offer a viewpoint.

To begin

with, the primary reason that the collection of personal details of employees

such

as their hobbies, and interests should be acceptable is because it helps the employer to understand the nature and skills of personnel easily. There might be some individuals who might be good sports personalities,

this

depicts that they may inherit excellent cooperation and coordination skills.

Moreover

, schedules can be amended as per the needs of people who are married because they have a family to take care of and spend some quality time with them.

Thus

, if the company knows that they are married

then

they can be shifted to the nearest office. On the flip side, some owners may judge their workers

according to

the hobbies, and interests they have.

This

is not an accurate way of judging people.

For instance

, there are a certain number of adult workers who prefer to drink during the night, and if their owners and co-workers know about that they may judge them inappropriately.

Furthermore

, some married women can be dominated at work because individuals may think that

due to

their family pressure, they will not be able to concentrate. Superiors will not give equal importance to married women and single ladies.

According to

my viewpoint, judging people through their interests is not relevant.

Instead

, everyone should be provided equal opportunities to prove their skills and qualifications.

To conclude

, as per the matrimonials mentioned above, disclosing personal interest in front of the employer has both merits and demerits but in my opinion, it is not useful for the employees to give their details

while

joining the firms.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Lexical Resource

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Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Consider adding more varied sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range.

Task Response

While expanding on examples, ensure that they directly support your main arguments for a more cohesive argument.

Task Response

Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and concludes with a clear personal opinion, showing good task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear overview and final perspective on the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've supported your main points with relevant arguments, enhancing the essay's coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

311 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Employer some time ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies, and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant or useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make action. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.