Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

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Nowadays, more and more young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study and work in the urban. The reason
of
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for

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this
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is a shortage of opportunity in rural areas. Of course, the live in the
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has a lot of advantages
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

disadvantages.
Firstly
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, we will discuss about availability of education in urban. Many qualified schools and prestigious universities are located in big
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Also
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, a significant amount of government grants and scholarships
allocate
Wrong verb form
are allocated

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb allocate. Consider changing it.

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for
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to

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student from rural areas
for
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to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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popularization
Replace the word
popularise

The word popularization doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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education and increase their knowledge.
Undoubtful
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly

The word Undoubtful doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, a quality education is a huge advantage of
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, for
government
Correct article usage
the government

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easier
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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to find good teachers and professors in the
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
do
Correct your spelling
due

The word do doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to that they build
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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new
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in urban. Turning to the other side of the argument let's discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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work in big
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As we mentioned earlier
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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huge companies usually are located in
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. And as
usual
Add a comma
usual,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase as usual. Consider adding a comma.

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they need a lot of manpower to develop business. Many job offers can be found in
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with high salaries. Surely
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is one of
big
Add an article
the big

The phrase one of big advantages may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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advantages.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
to
Replace the word
too

The word to may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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many huge factories and experiencing a shortage
off
Replace the word
of

It appears that off is not correct in this context. Consider changing it.

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personal
Replace the word
personnel

The word personal doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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not to mention
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a small companies
Correct the article-noun agreement
small companies
a small company

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun companies in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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in the city. They come up with a new idea and programs to entice the people
try
Fix the infinitive
to try

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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to give
thema
Correct your spelling
them

If you don’t want thema to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

good conditions of work and high salaries. But
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the selection process for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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companies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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strict and complex. Having weighed everything mentioned
up
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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, we can come to
a
Correct article usage
the

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conclusion that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. Of course, there is a bag side to everything.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance your introduction by more clearly outlining the main points you will discuss. Consider rephrasing for clarity and ensuring a smooth transition into the body of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to cover both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. While you did mention both sides, the conclusion could better emphasize the disadvantages, which would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be revised for better readability.
task achievement
You have highlighted important points about education and employment opportunities in cities, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as government grants and job offers in cities, adds credibility to your points, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Educational institutions
  • Job prospects
  • Wages
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Overpopulation
  • Cost of living
  • Rural depopulation
  • Social isolation
  • Traditional values
  • Personal growth
  • Recreational activities
What to do next:
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