Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

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Beyond doubt, there are many discussions revolving around the issue of whether being good person lessons should be given to

children

by their

parents

or other people agree with these are taught by

schools

. From my perspective, I

support

both ideas. In the next paragraphs, I will delve into the main reasons in their detail. First of all, why

parents

should teach their

children

because they spend a lot of time with their

children

and take care of their

children

. It is apparent that

parents

are idols for most

children

For

this

reason, many

children

want to resemble their mother or father even sometimes it happens unconsciously.

Consequently

, good

traits

which are taught by

parents

can be very effective. If people take all

this

into account,

parents

should try to be careful around their

children

, and introduce good behaviour. I believe that families have an important influence on their

children

’s behaviour,

therefore

, they ought to teach their

children

to be good

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

On the other hand

, school is

also

an important place which gives significant pieces of knowledge related to good behaviours. Many

children

listen to their teacher’s advice because they believe their teacher is always right.

Furthermore

, teachers pass excellent courses about

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

psychology

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

they understand the way to teach these. Indirectly, good behaviours can be given productive by teachers because of scientific methods. In my opinion,

schools

should

support

some pieces of knowledge about good behaviours because they have a good methodology

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

To sum up

, I

support

the idea that good

traits

should be taught by eighter

schools

or families because

children

spend

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

half time with their

parents

and other teachers. Both have equal importance on the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

learning of good

traits

. Neglecting one does not mean another one is enough.

That is

why eighter

parents

schools

should provide good

traits

learning, and tightly

support

each other.

Submitted by sabinanezar93 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a good structure and clarity in arguing both views, expressing your opinion effectively. To enhance your task performance, incorporating more specific examples or real-life scenarios would make your argument more comprehensive and convincing.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, you've organized your essay well, with clear paragraphs for each view, and a balanced conclusion. Improving transitions between ideas and within paragraphs can make your essay even smoother to read.

task response

You have clearly stated your opinion and discussed both views thoroughly, which is excellent for task response.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, summarizing the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, people had different opinions about whether artificial intelligence has positive impacts on human future or is harmful to society. In my opinion, there may be some problems, but a lot of benefits will happened.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the government should invest in teaching science rather than in other subjects for a country development and progress. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions at home, so museum and art galleries will disappear soon. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?