Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
Some people say that having a deep look into the family history is important,
whereas
others argue that focusing on the present and the next generation is the top priority. Although
having an idea about what happened in the family
past is essential, I support the latter view that paying attention to the present and the Change noun form
family's
future
of families is more crutial
.
Conducting Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
a
research about family Remove the article
apply
ancesters
is meaningful as Correct your spelling
ancestors
this
helps members of a family to form a sense of belonging which will greatly boost the unity of the entire household. It would be benefitial
for family members to have a thorough investigation Correct your spelling
beneficial
about
what happened in the past, and gain a deep understanding Change preposition
of
about
where they came from and what their Change preposition
of
ancesters
have been Correct your spelling
ancestors
thgouth
. Correct your spelling
through
For instance
, youngsters can learn the
past stories by asking their Correct article usage
apply
grand parents
what happened when they were young or browsing photo albums, so they can form a sense of belonging by doing these. Correct your spelling
grandparents
However
, a family history cannot continue without the younger generation, therefore
, ceasing the present is more practical.
Paying more attention to what happens now and the younger generation is more feasible, as those are more important than the
past. Young blood is key Change preposition
in the
of
the continuity of the family and what happens now matters as it can shape the Change preposition
to
family
Change noun form
family's
future
. For example
, Parents invest in
a Change preposition
apply
significate
amount of money into their children's education, hobbies and health care, as they believe that their Correct your spelling
significant
offsprings
are their top Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
priorit
and every cent they Correct your spelling
priority
spent
now will build up a brighter Wrong verb form
spend
future
prospect for their children. Therefore
, focusing on now and future
is more vital.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the future
eventhough
having a deep look into the Correct your spelling
even though
family
past is necessary, I would still support Change noun form
family's
that
paying attention to what happens now and Correct word choice
apply
the
coming Change preposition
in the
future
is wiser.Submitted by Ming on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is fantastic. However, making your paragraph transitions smoother can enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
While you've presented both views and your own opinion comprehensively, integrating more varied sentence structures and complex grammatical forms can elevate your argument's complexity and persuasiveness.
task achievement
You've done a good job at maintaining relevance to the topic throughout the essay. To further improve, consider diving deeper into each idea with fully developed explanations and perhaps incorporating a wider range of examples.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively outlining your stance and summarizing your argument. Well done!
task achievement
You've successfully supported your main points with appropriate examples, which strengthens your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!