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Band 5

Transport preferences among young people from different countries

#transport #preferences #people #countries
The graph illustrates the
usage
 of transport by teenagers in three different countries.
Overall
, the graph explains that
cars
 were the most popular among young
people
 and motorcycles were the lowest
number
 of
usage
 among the young generation.
According to
 the chart
France
 has the most
usage
 of
cars
, which means that
cars
 were the most popular transport for young individuals in
France
 by over 70%.
While
 motorcycles had the lowest
number
 of used by teenagers by just 10% in
France
. In the USA the same
cars
 were operated the most by young
people
by contrast
 bicycles had the lowest
number
 of used
instead
 motorcycle has been used a lot. After
France
 and Great Britain
cars
 were the most amount of popularity among young
people
.
furthermore
, a large
number
 of
people
 preferred to use Bicycles.
However
, motorcycles have the lowest
usage
 in Great Britain. In Germany, in opposition to other countries Bicycles were the most famous transport among you
people
. the
usage
 of
cars
 is located in the second stage of popularity for young
people
. and Motorcycle has the lowest
number
 of users in Germany.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Structure
Ensure clarity in the structure of your paragraphs and maintain a logical flow. Introduce a clearer separation between observations for each country.
Introduction & Conclusion
Consider adding an introduction that more clearly presents the topic and data discussed. A short conclusion summarizing the main findings could strengthen your essay.
Language & Style
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve fluency and coherence.
Detail & Examples
Adding more specific data and examples will help to support your observations and make your argument more compelling.
Content
You provided a clear overview of the most and least popular modes of transportation among young people in the mentioned countries.
Comparative Analysis
Good use of comparative language to discuss differences between countries.
Relevance
The essay stays on topic and addresses the given task adequately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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