The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects.

#percentage #children #society #years #effects

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In the modern era, the number of overweight

children

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westren

Correct your spelling

western

societies

such

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Euope

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European

Europe

countries, and the United States has

rose

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risen

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

approximately 20% in the

last

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decade. To maintain the

children

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's health

heatier

Correct your spelling

heater

easier

, we have to solve

this

Linking Words

problem together. In

this

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essay, I will attempt to identify causes and propose some effects that

this

Linking Words

matter

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

about. Broadly speaking, there are some main problems with

this

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issue.

Firstly

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, the major cause of

this

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issue is that most

children

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prefer

high-calories

Correct your spelling

high-calorie

show examples

food

such

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as hamburgers, pizzas, and something like

fozen

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frozen

foods

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. These

foods

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have spicy and salty tastes and it is easier to cook so that makes

children

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eat instant

foods

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frequently.

Secondly

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, another reason is that most

children

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have bad habits

such

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as they lie after

eat

Wrong verb form

eating

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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and having irregular eating time. In terms of proposing diverse effects to

this

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apparent dilemma, the members of

socetiy

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society

societies

, government, and researchers should cooperate together to reduce

this

Linking Words

problem. First of all, when

badly

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bad

show examples

habits

sustained

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are sustained

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, some

childrens

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children

show examples

will have indigestion and some other health problems

such

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as diabetes, and cardiovascular problems.

Secondly

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obesty

Correct your spelling

obesity

can

makes

Verb problem

cause

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depression because, if some people

dissatisfied

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are dissatisfied

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their

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with their

show examples

body

shpes

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shapes

shape

, they don't go out and

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not prefer

meet

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to meet

show examples

friends.

As a result

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, that makes people always stay at home and reduce their self-confidence. In conclusion, most people occasionally ignore doctors'

recommendation

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recommendations

show examples

for their happiness

about

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apply

show examples

overweight

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being overweight

show examples

such

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reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

eating

Change preposition

of high-calories

show examples

high-calories

Correct your spelling

high-calorie

show examples

foods

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

Also

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when

this

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behaviour and actions are sustained,

this

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become

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becomes

show examples

more serious.

Linking Words

However

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However,

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efforts to protect their kid's health to solve

this

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problem sensibly and easily.

Submitted by wowoo04066 on Fri Apr 05 2024

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Structure

Ensure your essay is structured logically with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should center on a single main idea, introduced with a topic sentence.

Language Use

Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language flexibility and appropriateness.

Supporting Examples

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing statistics, studies, or concrete examples that illustrate the issue of child obesity.

Spelling and Grammar

Work on the accuracy of your spelling and grammar to avoid misunderstandings and to present your ideas more clearly.

Coherence

Improve the coherence by linking your ideas more effectively. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas within and across paragraphs.

Introduction

You effectively introduced the topic and presented a clear stance in the introduction.

Conclusion

Your conclusion summarized the main points made throughout the essay satisfactorily.

Relevance

You identified relevant causes and effects related to the topic, showing an understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects.

Your opinion

Tests and examinations restrict teachers’ creativity and innovation, and they also exert unnecessary pressure on young learners. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.