Many university students nowadays live away from home and their parents because of their university location, while others live with their families. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each situation?

One
of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in
relocation
Add an article
the relocation
show examples
of students from
one
city to another or abroad for their higher studies. The argument
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
it is beneficial for children to spend their
life
away from their parents for education has been gathering momentum across the world in recent times. It is completely agreed that a quality education is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
to shape
one
's
life
and for
this
, some folks leave their homes and move to another place and spend their
life
in the absence of their family. I will provide an overview
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
both
advanvtages
Correct your spelling
advantages
and disadvantages of
this
notion and will reach
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a logical conclusion.
Firstly
, when folks
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live outside of their house, they will get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to learn new skills
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
from their peers and it will be easy for them to mould
according to
different situations in their
life
in future when they will get
marry
Wrong verb form
married
show examples
and manage
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
and work
life
as living away will make them more independent and they will be responsible for their household
chorus
Correct your spelling
chores
show examples
such
as cooking, cleaning and managing their finances.
Moreover
, scholars will be able to enhance their interpersonal skills by taking part in social activities in universities,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
joining different student clubs which in turn will increase the social network of pupils.
For example
, in hostel
life
, it is very easy to learn basic living rules
such
as
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
up early in the morning as
one
has to wait in the queue to take
shower
Correct article usage
a shower
show examples
and for breakfast. It teaches folks to maintain
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
routine,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of sharing and keep patience
while
waiting in the queue for meals.
Secondly
, staying at
home
has its own benefits as
one
can learn from the parents or ancestors. Emotional support is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
during university
life
as some students feel stressed
due to
pressure
Correct article usage
the pressure
show examples
of
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
and they feel
embarrased
Correct your spelling
embarrassed
to discuss with their peers or teachers which has given birth to many suicides in the past.
Furthermore
, living at
home
while
studying can help to save money on accommodation and food and provide substantial financial relief to parents.
To sum up
, I believe that it is important to stay away from
home
while
studying as it helps
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
to participate in
late night
Add a hyphen
late-night
show examples
group activities or group studies
happen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in universities as it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to learn in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
effective way rather than sitting alone and learning in the
home
.
Submitted by kaurv083 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more; although your use of complex sentences is good, incorporating a wider range of syntactical constructions can add to the stylistic richness of your writing.
task achievement
Be mindful of occasional spelling or grammatical errors, such as "advanvtages" and the use of "folks" in a slightly informal context. While these do not significantly detract from the overall quality, attention to detail can refine your essay further.
coherence cohesion
Consider providing more explicit comparison or explicit connective phrases between advantages and disadvantages when switching from one point to the other. This will enhance the logical flow and make your argumentation even clearer.
task achievement
Though your examples are relevant, try to include more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Particularly in the section discussing the benefits of living at home, adding specific, illustrative examples could make your case more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the topic with a well-structured argument, presenting both sides thoughtfully.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use paragraphs and transitions to organize your ideas, which significantly aids the readability and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments, reinforcing the position taken at the beginning. Excellent work in bringing closure to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • personal growth
  • immersive
  • social networks
  • interpersonal skills
  • financial burden
  • psychological comfort
  • academic integration
  • loneliness
  • isolation
  • adapt
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: