The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The figure provides data on the
percentage
of population of
people
who live in
cities
in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia over a
50 year
Add a hyphen
50-year
show examples
period, prediction is
also
provided for the next 20 years.
Overall
, it is noticeable that about 4/5 of Malaysians will live in
cities
by the year 2040.
By contrast
, a far lesser number of
people
will live an urban life in other countries. Looking at Malaysia, only a small
percentage
of
people
(30%) lived in
cities
in 1970 but its figure saw an upward trend and surpassed that of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
by the year 1992 and will reach its highest amount in 2040. Despite having the highest
percentage
at the start of the period,
Philippines’
Correct article usage
the Philippines’
show examples
urban population will become a mere 51% by the end of the period. The
percentage
of
people
living in
cities
of Indonesia was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
in 1970;
however
, it rose significantly and put Thailand and Philippines behind by the years 2000 and 2010.
Moreover
, it is forecasted to reach 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2040. Thailand’s urban population
also
increased from 20 to 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and is predicted to reach 44
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
by 2040.
Submitted by viana.elahi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, cities with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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