In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#countries #women #jobs #housework #men

Some people believe that

women

are solely responsible for running the house

chores

, and

thus

, the term "housewife" became famous in the early 1800s century in India.

However

, the other side of the people

believe

Correct subject-verb agreement

believes

show examples

that

women

and

men

are both responsible for housework and if the

home

job is segregated well is a good sign of equality amongst both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

genders. I here believe the latter. On the one hand, The belief of the old society in my country, India, is because of the patriarchal way of thinking that

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

was established because

men

were the bread earners in the early century and

thus

women

stay

Wrong verb form

stayed

show examples

home

for food, safety and managing

home

chores

however

, as society became progressive,

women

were encouraged to work, and

this

led

tol

Correct your spelling

and emotional well-being of

women

as well as

me better

financian

Correct your spelling

financial

financing

. To exemplify, As per the Hindustan

times

Capitalize word

Times

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

report in 2009 on family welfare, says that, Working

women

tend to be happier which

led

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

happiness of the family.

Although

Women

staying at

home

had benefits like childcare

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

, the Disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Women

staying at

home

didn't

aquire

Correct your spelling

require

acquire

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

skills and they tend to have low confidence and lesser

self esteems

Correct your spelling

self-esteem

show examples

For instance

, In

society

Add a comma

society,

show examples

a bread earner is regarded as the head of the family and

this

led to

women

sacrificing in their

marraige

Correct your spelling

marriage

as they were solely homemakers and they had to depend on the other gender for their basic needs.

Thus

, managing

home

chores

and finances helps

men

and

women

to work like equals, it

also

gives opportunity to the males to spend more time with family and have a balanced life.

To conclude

, I am in support of working

women

and working

men

sharing equal responsibilities of

home

chores

this

will

led

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to equality and a balanced life amongst both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

genders.

Submitted by avesh1409 on Fri Apr 05 2024

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Logical Structure

Your essay presents a clear and logical structure, facilitating an easy and coherent read.

Introduction & Conclusion

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Supported Main Points

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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