Too much money is spent in maintaining and repairing old buildings. Some people think that they should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The usage of new technology in the education sector has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surged in recent times and prioritized over the conventional method of teaching to
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large number of
pupils
. Contemporary technology in teaching is very convenient and
timesaving
Correct your spelling
time-saving
show examples
for
students
as well as
for
teachers
. The primary advantages and disadvantages of
this
phenomenon are discussed in the following passages. On the one hand, there are various benefits of using new technologies for teaching
students
.
Firstly
, through the conventional method, it is very difficult for
teachers
to explain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complex topics to
students
. But, after the advent of new audio-visual technology, it is very easy to explain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tough topics with the help of animations.
Additionally
, since most educational institutes have adopted online teaching,
students
can easily learn from anywhere in the world, which is very convenient and
timesaving
Correct your spelling
time-saving
show examples
. Despite these advantages, there are many drawbacks of new technologies which not only affect the learning curve of
students
, but it affects the
overall
health of
pupils
.
First,
it is nearly impossible for
teachers
to know if
students
are paying attention
while
teaching online and
as a result
, most
students
can’t score well in exams.
Furthermore
, new gadgets require
pupils
to constantly use digital
screes
Correct your spelling
screens
show examples
which is very harmful for
students
of all ages.
For example
, as per a recent study, nearly 50% of children below
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
of ten, wear spectacles
due to
excessive use of digital screens. In conclusion, new technological advancements in education surely increase
students
’ ability to grasp
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complex subjects, and they are far more convenient and
timesaving
Correct your spelling
time-saving
show examples
for
teachers
and
students
than traditional methods.
However
, they negatively affect the learning curve of
pupils
and their eye
sights
Fix the agreement mistake
sight
show examples
.
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay addresses the specific task given. Your essay discusses the impact of technology in education, which doesn't directly address the topic of spending money on maintaining old buildings versus building new ones.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that your essay maintains a consistent focus on the given topic throughout. This will enhance clarity and relevance.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific examples and evidence that directly relates to the given topic to strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a structured essay, remember to include an introduction that clearly states your stance on the topic, followed by body paragraphs that elaborate on your points, and a conclusion that summarises your thoughts.
Task Achievement
You made a good attempt at discussing the advantages and disadvantages within your chosen topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure, with a clear distinction between paragraphs and an introduction and conclusion, aids readability.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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