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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates how much the pricing of metals including
Copper
Use synonyms
, Nickel, and Zink changed in a whole
year
Use synonyms
 in 2014, on a monthly basis.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is inevitable from the data that the prices of all these components experienced a plateau over a
year
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, Zinc had the highest price of all.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the price of Nickel had a 6%
change
Use synonyms
 in the first
month
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, as it was the highest
change
Use synonyms
 compared to the others.
Although
Linking Words
, it decreased and reached 1% by March and remained steady for a
month
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it dropped down to -3% in June.
This
Linking Words
 data did not remain the same, as it went through various changes in the remainder of the
year
Use synonyms
, and eventually ended up in 1% of
change
Use synonyms
. Regarding the comparison between the two other metals, the percentage of changes in
Copper
Use synonyms
 was more than in Zinc in the first
month
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 as the plot twisted,
Copper
Use synonyms
 went through a variety of changes over time and experienced its lowest percentages in both June and October with -1%.
While
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
Copper
Use synonyms
 started its journey from 2% and slightly decreased to experience almost -1% of
change
Use synonyms
 in the fifth and the sixth
month
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 metal had an upward trend afterwards and
finally
Linking Words
 ended up having almost 2%
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, year, change, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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