IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the quality of life in large cities is becoming worse/ What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to solve it?

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Despite knowing that living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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large urban
cities
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 brings
plethora
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a plethora
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 of benefits for citizens, leading to degradation in
quality
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the quality
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 of life.
This
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 essay will examine the main justification of these problems and possible solutions for addressing them. There are two main causes that would lead to less quality of life in the metropolitan
cities
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 which are increasing
air
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pollution
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 and crime throughout the
cities
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. To be clear, during recent years,
growthing
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growing
 in the proportion of
population
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the population
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 and using
personal
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the personal
a personal
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 mechanical
vehicle
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vehicles
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 for
commute
Wrong verb form
commuting
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 more than before, emitting a lot of carbon dioxide
in
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into
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 the atmosphere, increasing
air
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pollution
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 and leading to several diseases for humans and animals.
For example
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, during the recent decade, Tehran has been suffering from heavy traffic which leads to more
air
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pollution
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 and most of its inhabitants deal with lung disease.
Furthermore
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, some studies illustrate that crime is more likely in the big
cities
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.
In other words
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, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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metropolitan
cities
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, having control
on
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over
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 all parts of the city can be challenging,
thus
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 theft happens even more. Some possible solutions for these problems are establishing more public transportation
and
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apply
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using
electrical
Replace the word
electric
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 vehicles and
also
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 nurturing more policemen. To be clear, the government should improve access to the public transport sectors so people use them more than their own cars.
Also
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 using the electrical machines can be more useful
due to
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 the fact that they do not consume fossil fuels, so it can help to reduce
air
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pollution
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.
Additionally
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, fostering more police staff and recognizing more video recorders can improve
cities
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' security from
robbers'
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robber'
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 attacks.
To conclude
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,
Although
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 the quality of life in
the
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apply
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large
cities
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face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
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risk
Add an article
the risk
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 of degradation by increasing
air
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pollution
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 and crime rate, there are some possible solutions for these problems. The government's strategies for building more transport stations and using
electrical
Replace the word
electric
show examples
 vehicles can be an efficient solution against
air
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pollution
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 and
also
Linking Words
 educating more policemen and considering video recorders, boosting the security of
cities
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.

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving their distinct purpose. Your structure is generally good, but strive for clearer transitions between ideas.
Language
Vary your sentence structures and use a wide range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
Examples
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. You've made a good attempt with the Tehran example; similar detailed examples could enhance other parts of your essay.
Content
Address the task directly and remain focused on the topic. Make sure each paragraph contributes to answering the essay question.
Grammar
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and ensure clarity in your arguments.
Content
You've provided a logical argument with clear causes and solutions for the degradation of life quality in large cities, which directly answers the essay question.
Examples
The use of a real-world example (Tehran) to illustrate your point about air pollution is effective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Overpopulation
  • Infrastructure
  • Pollution
  • Housing shortages
  • Rental and property prices
  • Traffic congestion
  • Public transportation
  • Deforestation
  • Urban sprawl
  • Mental health
  • Economic disparity
  • Waste management
  • Environmental impact
  • Public health
  • Recreational areas
  • Wealth gap
  • Cost of living
  • Lifestyle
  • Stress
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