Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solutions?
These days,
old
population who need occupation have to conflict with Correct article usage
the old
young
Correct article usage
the young
onse
. I think Correct your spelling
ones
this
difficulty Linking Words
is caused
a number of problems Wrong verb form
causes
same
as economic Correct word choice
such
issue
, to solve these Fix the agreement mistake
issues
governments
action is essential.
Change the noun form
government
To begin
with, jobs areLinking Words
imporotant
for people, Correct your spelling
important
specialy
elder citizens because they have Correct your spelling
especially
specially
family
to care Fix the agreement mistake
families
and
Change preposition
for and
also
some Linking Words
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
same
Correct article usage
the same
as
study fees and loan charges and to Change preposition
on
tackel
these issues they need a Correct your spelling
tackle
possition
to work in. Correct your spelling
position
Although
, it is becoming a challenging duty because they have to compete with younger Linking Words
employeers
. Correct your spelling
employees
employers
Moreover
, Linking Words
yought
are Correct your spelling
you
more fresh
and they have more power Replace the words
fresher
also
they can learn Linking Words
easier
Rephrase
more easily
compare
to old Wrong verb form
compared
onse
. Correct your spelling
ones
one
As a result
, aged adults have to reduce their Linking Words
expectencies
and apply for lower Correct your spelling
expectancies
experiences
postions
so they will not do Correct your spelling
positions
they
main major. Correct pronoun usage
their
Consequently
, they will earn less Linking Words
and
struggle with hardships and have to work more hours to Correct word choice
apply
respon
Correct your spelling
respond
their
Change preposition
to their
basis
needs.
To Replace the word
basic
tackel
Correct your spelling
tackle
Linking Words
this problems
, Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
authuroties
have to Correct your spelling
authorities
intreduce
roles to Correct your spelling
introduce
soppurt
that generation same as free insurance or Correct your spelling
support
stabel
Correct your spelling
stable
mounthly
payment that can cover all basic needs. Correct your spelling
monthly
For example
, in some developed countries when a person Linking Words
reach
his/her Change the verb form
reaches
meddle
Correct your spelling
middle
ages
they can have access to Fix the agreement mistake
age
verious
Correct your spelling
various
type
of functions that Fix the agreement mistake
types
provided
by governments same as scholarships for their children , Add a missing verb
are provided
free
healthcare so Correct word choice
and free
Linking Words
this people
will compete less and enjoy more Change the determiner
this person
these people
from
life.
In conclusion, nowadays Change preposition
apply
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
job
is Correct article usage
a job
challenging
matter for Add an article
a challenging
aged
population and they have to Correct article usage
the aged
conflict
with economic issues. Verb problem
deal
However
, Linking Words
i
think Change the capitalization
I
this
could be Linking Words
tackeld
by Correct your spelling
tackled
Add an article
an act
the act
act
of governments by Fix the agreement mistake
acts
intruducing
some roles Correct your spelling
introducing
for
cover their needs.Change preposition
to
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly by including an introduction that directly addresses the question, at least two body paragraphs that discuss problems and solutions separately, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
Content Development
Focus on developing your ideas more fully. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by explanations, examples, and results. This will help your essay achieve greater clarity and depth.
Language Accuracy
Work on your spelling, grammar, and vocabulary. Errors in these areas can make your essay harder to understand. Consider using a variety of sentence structures and checking your work carefully for mistakes.
Task Response
You've addressed both parts of the question, discussing problems and proposing solutions related to the employment competition between older and younger individuals.
Organization
You have attempted to organize your essay into paragraphs, which is an essential part of essay writing. Keep practicing this skill to improve clarity and flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.