Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solutions

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These days, the old population who need occupation have to conflict with the young ones. I think

this

difficulty causes a number of problems

such

as economic issues,

Correct word choice

and to

show examples

solve these government action is essential.

To begin

with, jobs are important for people, especially elder citizens because they have families to care for and

also

some spend the same on study fees and loan charges

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to tackle these issues they need a position to work in.

Although

, it is becoming a challenging duty because they have to compete with younger employees.

Moreover

younges

Correct your spelling

young

are fresher and they have more power

also

they can learn more easily compared to old ones.

As a result

, aged adults have to reduce their expectancies and apply for lower positions so they will not do their main major.

Consequently

, they will earn less struggle with hardships and have to work more hours to respond to their basic needs. To tackle these problems, authorities have to introduce roles to support that generation

same

Correct word choice

such

show examples

as free insurance or stable monthly

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

show examples

that can cover all basic needs.

For example

, in some developed countries when a person reaches his/her middle age they can have access to various types of functions that are provided by governments

same

Correct word choice

such

show examples

as scholarships for their children , and free healthcare so these people will compete less and enjoy more life. In conclusion, nowadays getting a job is a challenging matter for the aged population and they have to deal with economic issues.

However

, I think

this

could be tackled by acts of governments by introducing some roles to cover their needs.

Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Structuring

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Supporting Examples

Aim to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Vocabulary

Be mindful of repetitiveness and work on using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. This not only enriches your essay but also shows your language proficiency.

Sentence Variety

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Task Response

Ensure to answer all parts of the question directly. While your essay touches on the problems and solutions, aim for a more balanced discussion on each aspect.

Structure

You have a good sense of structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Task Response

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Coherence

Your overall argument is coherent and follows a logical order, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solutions

Fully explain your ideas

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Should animals be used in testing new drugs and procedures?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that the olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. others say the olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.