Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solution

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These days, the old population who need occupation have to conflict with the young ones. I think

this

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difficulty causes a number of problems

such

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as economic issues, and to solve these government action is essential.

To begin

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with, jobs are important for people, especially elder citizens because they have families to care for and

also

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some spend the same on study fees and loan charges to tackle these issues they need a position to work in.

Although

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, it is becoming a challenging duty because they have to compete with younger employees.

Moreover

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young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

are fresher and they have more power

also

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they can learn more easily compared to

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

ones.

As a result

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, aged adults have to reduce their expectancies and apply for lower positions so they will not do their main major.

Consequently

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, they will earn less struggle with hardships and have to work more hours to respond to their basic needs. To tackle these problems, authorities have to introduce roles to support that generation

such

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as free insurance or stable monthly payments that can cover all basic needs.

For example

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, in some developed countries when a person reaches his/her middle age they can have access to various types of functions that are provided by governments

such

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as scholarships for their children , and free healthcare so these people will compete less and enjoy more life. In conclusion, nowadays getting a job is a challenging matter for the aged population and they have to deal with economic issues.

However

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, I think

this

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could be tackled by acts of governments by introducing some roles to cover their needs.

Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Sentence Variety

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Introduction & Conclusion Clarity

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay, and that your conclusion effectively summarises your main points and restates your stance.

Argument Development

Try to develop your arguments more comprehensively by adding more specific examples and explanations. This helps in making your essay more persuasive and informative.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both the problems and solutions related to the competition for employment between older and younger generations, ensuring a complete response to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

There is a logical flow of ideas, and you make an effort to connect your paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solution

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that government should spend more on public services rather than wasting money on arts. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.