Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solution

#people #employment

These days, the old population who need occupation have to conflict with the young ones. I think

this

difficulty causes a number of problems

such

as economic issues, and to solve these government action is essential.

To begin

with, jobs are important for people, especially elder citizens because they have families to care for and

also

some spend the same on study fees and loan charges to tackle these issues they need a position to work in.

Although

, it is becoming a challenging duty because they have to compete with younger employees.

Moreover

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

are fresher and they have more power

also

they can learn more easily compared to

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

ones.

As a result

, aged adults have to reduce their expectancies and apply for lower positions so they will not do their main major.

Consequently

, they will earn less struggle with hardships and have to work more hours to respond to their basic needs. To tackle these problems, authorities have to introduce roles to support that generation

such

as free insurance or stable monthly payments that can cover all basic needs.

For example

, in some developed countries when a person reaches his/her middle age they can have access to various types of functions that are provided by governments

such

as scholarships for their children , and free healthcare so these people will compete less and enjoy more life. In conclusion, nowadays getting a job is a challenging matter for the aged population and they have to deal with economic issues.

However

, I think

this

could be tackled by acts of governments by introducing some roles to cover their needs.

Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Argument Development

Try to develop your arguments more comprehensively by adding more specific examples and explanations. This helps in making your essay more persuasive and informative.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both the problems and solutions related to the competition for employment between older and younger generations, ensuring a complete response to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

There is a logical flow of ideas, and you make an effort to connect your paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solution

Fully explain your ideas

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages!

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives?

Many people believe social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?