IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Do you think that parents should restrict how much time a teenager spends on cellphone each day?

#parents #time #teenager #cellphone
Children are the pillar of the future. Children are pliable
therefore
 it's
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 us to mould them in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way so that they can lead a well-settled Lifestyle . Parenting is not a child's play . Parenting plays a significant role in
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 development. Some communities believe that
gurdians
Correct your spelling
guardians
 should restrict children's screen
timing
Replace the word
time
show examples
. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion. I vehemently Accord to the assertion. In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the rationale
as well as
 proffer justification for my point of view.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Expand your essay by providing body paragraphs that delve into the reasoning behind your standpoint and introduce examples or experiences to back up your views.
Conclusion
Integrate a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance clearly, enhancing the completion of your response.
Balance
For a higher score, ensure you fully address the prompt by covering both sides of the argument if the question implies a discussion, even if you have a strong position.
Introduction
You have started with an engaging introduction that sets a clear outline of your essay’s direction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dependence
  • Divergent views
  • Addiction
  • Promote
  • Physical activity
  • Minimize
  • Distractions
  • Rebellion
  • Educational benefits
  • Social benefits
  • Self-regulation
  • Balanced approach
  • Clear, reasonable limits
  • Responsible use
  • Mutual understanding
  • Autonomy
  • Foster
What to do next:
Look at other essays: