Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The discourse surrounding social media has always been a part of
discussion
Correct article usage
the discussion
show examples
due to
its negative and positive effects on society.
While
some contend that it has more negative effects on youth, debaters argue that it has some positive aspects
such
as connecting people from all over the world.
This
essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viewpoints and will present my reasons to support the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
view.
To begin
with the former opinion, a group of individuals believes that social platforms like Facebook and Instagram
leads
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lead
show examples
to adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
deficient communication skills and
vulnerable
Replace the word
vulnerability
show examples
to choose
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
path.
In other words
, nowadays, children learn to chat with their
friend
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friends
show examples
by typing with the help of their hands;
however
, when they meet anyone in person it becomes very difficult for them to communicate.
For example
, I belong to a joint family. When I was a child,
we
Correct pronoun usage
there
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were eight children in our family and we all were very talkative with our families and relatives,
in contrast
, now we have six children in
are
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our
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family, but they all are introverts they all
keeps
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keep
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chatting
on
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apply
show examples
their
phone
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phones
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but never comes out of their room and talk with their family.
Nevertheless
, when youngsters are unsupervised there is
high
Add an article
a high
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risk of falling for any e-scam.
On the other hand
, others and I believe that social networking has some perks
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
connecting globally and
it keeps
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
you posted regarding current affairs. To explain, a person sitting in Japan can talk to a person living in Canada.
Additionally
, maintaining relationships with your friends and relatives has been way easier now.
For instance
, my mother lost touch with her friends, because her generation was not
priviladge
Correct your spelling
privileged
privilege
with
Change preposition
to
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the facility of internet and social media, but I am still in contact with my school friend on Facebook.
Also
, in previous decades
the
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apply
show examples
news channels and
newspaper
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newspapers
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were the only
option
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options
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to stay updated with global news,
however
, now Instagram and
twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
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keeps
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keep
show examples
you posted with every single global
crises
Change to a singular noun
crisis
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. Political scams are
also
reduced because of the fear of social media power.
To conclude
, I believe that,
although
sites like Facebook and Twitter
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
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drawbacks like lack of personal development and risk of choosing
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
path, the advantages it has
such
as connecting people from different countries and knowledge about
current
Add an article
the current
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situation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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beneficial for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger generation.
Submitted by patel2dhruvil202 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical flow of ideas, which you have mostly achieved. Consider linking ideas more explicitly between sentences and paragraphs for even better clarity.
Task Achievement
You've responded to the prompt effectively, covering both sides of the debate and providing a reasoned opinion. For higher marks, further develop your ideas with more detailed examples and analysis.
Task Achievement
You've effectively introduced the topic, outlined both views, and provided a conclusion that reflects your own opinion, which demonstrates good task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have used a range of linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, contributing to the coherence of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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