Some people believe that the radio is the best way to get new while others believe that TV is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Technology has changed our
living style
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lifestyle
show examples
and
alter
Wrong verb form
altered
show examples
the way we receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news
from all over the world. Some argue that listening
news
Change preposition
to news
show examples
without visual pictures is the convenient way but others
are denying
Wrong verb form
deny
show examples
and prioritize
to
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apply
show examples
television
news
.
This
essay will look at both sides before drawing a logical conclusion. On the one hand,
radio
allows individuals to obtain
news
updates without disrupting their daily tasks, making it convenient for multitasking.
For example
, it has been proven by
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States in 2023,
60
Correct word choice
that 60
show examples
% of people prefer listening
radio
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to radio
show examples
news
as they not only complete their daily tasks
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
getting knowledge of all around the world but
also
maintain their health improvement by neglecting screen
news
. It is
thus
proved by
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
illustrate
Replace the word
illustration
show examples
that
radio
has made its space sustainable during
this
modern period
due to
its abundance
benefits
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of benefits
show examples
.
On the other hand
, most of the masses opine that watching
television
news
benefits
to
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apply
show examples
those who get confused without visual elements which assist them
to comprehend
Change preposition
in comprehending
show examples
better
to get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
knowledge about stories. If a person,
for example
,
lost
Wrong verb form
loses
show examples
his baby
due to
some reasons
then
he can easily provide
baby's
Correct article usage
a baby's
show examples
picture to those channels
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
broadcast
news
on
television
and everyone around the world can visualize that picture on screen
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
sometimes can help people to find
lost
Add an article
the lost
a lost
show examples
baby. It is clear from
this
given reason that
television
not only provides us
information
Change preposition
with information
show examples
but
also
shows us some visual activities. After analyzing the above points, it is felt that
radio
is the best option to get knowledge without
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
our health and delaying daily tasks. It is hoped that
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
generation
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
help to sustain its place as it is nowadays.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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grammar
Make sure to review your essay for minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity and understanding.
content
While offering examples, try to ensure they are realistic and directly support your argument.
vocabulary
Consider exploring a wider range of vocabulary to enrich your essay and more effectively communicate your ideas.
Task Achievement
You have done an excellent job of discussing both views and presenting your opinion clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in reader understanding.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples to support your points helps to make your arguments more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • disrupting
  • multitasking
  • audio-based
  • visualize
  • interpret
  • niche programming
  • personalized
  • visual elements
  • complex stories
  • expert analysis
  • live coverage
  • immediacy
  • emotional responses
  • impactful
  • generational
  • geographical
  • socio-economic factors
  • digital era
  • integration
  • online features
  • diverse preferences
What to do next:
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