Smart devices have put all of the world’s information at our fingertips. The benefits of this development are obvious, but what are the drawbacks?
The
internet
is one of the most astonishing breakthroughs of the digital era. Given this
, the internet
connects the globe’s information
through electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
devices
, which can be accessed anywhere. Albeit, smart devices
are
unfortunately Verb problem
apply
accounted
for the disturbance of privacy and being Wrong verb form
account
such
convenient devices
, they can often lead to addiction.
Information
about individuals
on the internet
spread
in a matter of minutes; being Wrong verb form
spreads
such
a large network, it is almost impossible to control. For example
, Taylor Swift wears disguises to alter her appearance in the hopes of not being identified, otherwise
her location will be available Add a comma
otherwise,
for
the entire world in a few minutes. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, these devices
can also
distribute personal images and videos of not only celebrities,
but everyday people. Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, the internet
undoubtedly disrupts the privacy of people.
The internet
is a gateway to obtain information
on almost everything, which results in the majority of individuals
constantly being on mobile devices
. For instance
, a study at Harvard University found that individuals
can get the same withdrawal symptoms of a drug addict when taking their electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
devices
away. Furthermore
, with the internet
came the invention of social media platforms that allows
people to post Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
information
daily, this
is undeniably a cause for excessive screentime
. Knowing Correct your spelling
screen time
this
, it is evident that some human beings are addicted to the internet
.
In conclusion, the Capitalize word
Internet
internet
is responsible for the lack of privacy and addiction among individuals
. It is of
my opinion that the disadvantages of the Change preposition
apply
internet
far outweigh the advantages. Capitalize word
Internet
Thus
, chaos will break out if the internet
continuous
to control the human population.Replace the word
continues
Submitted by jessicajreichel on
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Task Response
Try to balance the exploration of both benefits and drawbacks in the essay to provide a more comprehensive answer to the question.
Task Response
Introduce counterarguments or considerations of benefits to provide a nuanced view of the topic. This can enhance the depth of your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to show connections between your ideas and paragraphs more clearly. This will strengthen your essay's overall coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear, distinct paragraphs, each representing a unique main idea or argument. This structure helps readability and demonstrates your ability to organize thoughts logically.
Examples
Provided specific, relevant examples to support main points, such as the reference to Taylor Swift and the Harvard University study.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
Task Response
You have clearly expressed your opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task requirements.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...