IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

#people #media #touch #news #events #outweigh
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Nowadys
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Nowadays
, most
of
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apply
show examples
individuals use social media to keep abreast of
news
Use synonyms
 and have
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 on these platforms. In fact , these facilities help us to have contact with each other without any
hurdle
Fix the agreement mistake
hurdles
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. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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this
Linking Words
technologhy
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technology
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 many points that can be listed.
At
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First
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first,
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we have to pay attention to
this
Linking Words
 subject which innovation in any field
have
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has
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it's affect
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its effect
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 on
society
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society's
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behavior
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behaviour
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.
comunicatin
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communication
communications
communicating
have
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has
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 role in our
life time
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lifetime
show examples
. the first need of
human
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humans
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 is
make
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to make
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relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 with
other
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others
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. But,
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this methods
Change the determiner
this method
these methods
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not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 only boring but
also
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 educated. the best way that
people
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to
make
Verb problem
meet
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 their needs
were making
Wrong verb form
is to make
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conection
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connection
connections
 with
Correct determiner usage
each other
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other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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.
then
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, new platforms like
face book
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facebook
show examples
 help
to
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apply
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society to make virtual
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 which
aid
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aids
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people
Use synonyms
to raise
Change preposition
in raising
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 their awareness about others and
be
Wrong verb form
being
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up date
Correct your spelling
up-to-date
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 about any event that
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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 in the world.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
era
Add a comma
era,
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 all
people
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
were expossed
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expossed
Correct your spelling
exposed
 to enormous
news
Use synonyms
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
 any
boarder
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
. For
instace
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instance
, if
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
then
Linking Words
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 be aware
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
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 and
these
Change the determiner
this news
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news
Use synonyms
make
Verb problem
puts
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 stress on their life.
O
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On
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 the other hand ,
conction
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connections
 with
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who donot
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donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 have any
gate
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gates
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,
this
Linking Words
 situation
comite
Correct your spelling
is
 a crime in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lawbreakers
encouraged
Add a missing verb
are encouraged
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 to abuse
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
by
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through
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 fake profiles .
due to
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this
Linking Words
 reason, many families
Add a missing verb
are encunter
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encunter
Correct your spelling
encounter
 by many problems.
For example
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, most families compare their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 on social media and these
maters
Correct your spelling
matters
show examples
make
Verb problem
create
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diversities
Replace the word
diversity
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 in families . in conclusion,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
connections
 between peers or groups
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 positive and
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 in
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
 and
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 hapines between them.but , if anyone
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
Linking Words
this facilities
Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
show examples
in
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 manner
thaey
Correct your spelling
they
 face
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many problems.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 I think the advantages of
this
Linking Words
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
outweigh the disadvantages .
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

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Task Achievement
You've made a good effort to cover the topic, but to enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea, supported with examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
Your essay structure is recognizable with an introduction and conclusion, which is great. For further improvement, explicitly state your thesis statement in the introduction for a clearer stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, it's beneficial to use more varied and precise linking words to better connect your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are well-organized, each starting with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to clearly convey your points.
Task Achievement
Your essay explores both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a comprehensive approach.
Task Achievement
You've made a commendable effort in discussing the impact of social media on society, showing a good level of understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
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