Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

#people #media #touch #news #events #outweigh

Nowadys

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Nowadays

, most

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apply

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individuals use social media to keep abreast of

news

and have

relation

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relations

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with

other

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others

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on these platforms. In fact , these facilities help us to have contact with each other without any

hurdle

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hurdles

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. In my

opinion

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opinion,

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this

technologhy

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technology

have

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has

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many points that can be listed.

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First

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first,

we have to pay attention to

this

subject which innovation in any field

have

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has

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it's affect

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its effect

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society

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society's

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behavior

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behaviour

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comunicatin

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communication

communications

communicating

have

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has

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significant

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a significant

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role in our

life time

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lifetime

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. the first need of

human

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humans

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make

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to make

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relation

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relations

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with

other

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others

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. But,

this methods

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this method

these methods

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not

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is not

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only boring but

also

educated. the best way that

people

use

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used

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make

Verb problem

meet

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their needs

were making

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is to make

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conection

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connection

connections

with

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each other

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other

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others

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then

, new platforms like

face book

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facebook

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help

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apply

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society to make virtual

network

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networks

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which

aid

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aids

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people

to raise

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in raising

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their awareness about others and

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being

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up date

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up-to-date

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about any event that

happen

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happens

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in the world.

However

, in

this

era

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era,

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all

people

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were expossed

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expossed

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exposed

to enormous

news

whitout

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without

any

boarder

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borders

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. For

instace

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instance

, if

crime

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a crime

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happen

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happens

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then

most

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apply

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the

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apply

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people

be aware

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show examples

news

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the news

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and

these

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this news

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news

make

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puts

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stress on their life.

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show examples

the other hand ,

conction

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connections

with

people

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who donot

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donot

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do not

have any

gate

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gates

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this

situation

comite

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a crime in

the

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apply

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society

that

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apply

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lawbreakers

encouraged

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are encouraged

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to abuse

other

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others

show examples

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through

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fake profiles .

due to

this

reason, many families

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are encunter

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encunter

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encounter

by many problems.

For example

, most families compare their

life style

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lifestyle

show examples

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show examples

other

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others

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on social media and these

maters

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matters

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make

Verb problem

create

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diversities

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diversity

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in families . in conclusion,

have

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having

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conection

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connection

connections

between peers or groups

have

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has

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positive and

benefit

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benefits

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memebers

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members

and

enhance

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enhances

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hapines between them.but , if anyone

used

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uses

show examples

this facilities

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this facility

these facilities

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bad

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a bad

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manner

thaey

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they

face

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apply

show examples

many problems.

Finally

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Finally,

show examples

I think the advantages of

this

tecnology

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technology

outweigh the disadvantages .

Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Task Achievement

You've made a good effort to cover the topic, but to enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea, supported with examples or explanations.

Task Achievement

Your essay structure is recognizable with an introduction and conclusion, which is great. For further improvement, explicitly state your thesis statement in the introduction for a clearer stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, it's beneficial to use more varied and precise linking words to better connect your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your paragraphs are well-organized, each starting with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to clearly convey your points.

Task Achievement

Your essay explores both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a comprehensive approach.

Task Achievement

You've made a commendable effort in discussing the impact of social media on society, showing a good level of understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint, which is a strong aspect of your essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
83Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

some people believe that nowdays we have too many choice. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?