Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadys
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Nowadays
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals use social media to keep abreast of
news
and have
relation
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relations
show examples
with
other
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others
show examples
on these platforms. In fact , these facilities help us to have contact with each other without any
hurdle
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hurdles
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
technologhy
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technology
have
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has
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many points that can be listed.
At
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First
show examples
first,
we have to pay attention to
this
subject which innovation in any field
have
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has
show examples
it's affect
Correct your spelling
its effect
show examples
on
society
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society's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
comunicatin
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communication
communications
communicating
have
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has
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
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role in our
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
. the first need of
human
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humans
show examples
is
make
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to make
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relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
with
other
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others
show examples
. But,
this methods
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this method
these methods
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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only boring but
also
educated. the best way that
people
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to
make
Verb problem
meet
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their needs
were making
Wrong verb form
is to make
show examples
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
connections
with
Correct determiner usage
each other
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.
then
, new platforms like
face book
Correct your spelling
facebook
show examples
help
to
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apply
show examples
society to make virtual
network
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networks
show examples
which
aid
Change the verb form
aids
show examples
people
to raise
Change preposition
in raising
show examples
their awareness about others and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
up date
Correct your spelling
up-to-date
show examples
about any event that
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in the world.
However
, in
this
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
all
people
Add a missing verb
were expossed
show examples
expossed
Correct your spelling
exposed
to enormous
news
whitout
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without
any
boarder
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
. For
instace
Correct your spelling
instance
, if
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
then
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
be aware
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
news
Add an article
the news
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and
these
Change the determiner
this news
show examples
news
make
Verb problem
puts
show examples
stress on their life.
O
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand ,
conction
Correct your spelling
connections
with
people
Correct pronoun usage
who donot
show examples
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
have any
gate
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gates
show examples
,
this
situation
comite
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is
a crime in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lawbreakers
encouraged
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are encouraged
show examples
to abuse
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
fake profiles .
due to
this
reason, many families
Add a missing verb
are encunter
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encunter
Correct your spelling
encounter
by many problems.
For example
, most families compare their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
on social media and these
maters
Correct your spelling
matters
show examples
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
diversities
Replace the word
diversity
show examples
in families . in conclusion,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
connections
between peers or groups
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
positive and
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
in
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
and
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
hapines between them.but , if anyone
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
this facilities
Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
show examples
in
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
manner
thaey
Correct your spelling
they
face
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many problems.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
I think the advantages of
this
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
outweigh the disadvantages .
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

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Task Achievement
You've made a good effort to cover the topic, but to enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea, supported with examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
Your essay structure is recognizable with an introduction and conclusion, which is great. For further improvement, explicitly state your thesis statement in the introduction for a clearer stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, it's beneficial to use more varied and precise linking words to better connect your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are well-organized, each starting with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to clearly convey your points.
Task Achievement
Your essay explores both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a comprehensive approach.
Task Achievement
You've made a commendable effort in discussing the impact of social media on society, showing a good level of understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint, which is a strong aspect of your essay.

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