Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadys
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Nowadays
, most
of
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apply
show examples
individuals use social media to keep abreast of
news
and have
relation
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relations
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with
other
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others
show examples
on these platforms. In fact , these facilities help us to have contact with each other without any
hurdle
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hurdles
show examples
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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this
technologhy
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technology
have
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has
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many points that can be listed.
At
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First
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first,
we have to pay attention to
this
subject which innovation in any field
have
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has
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it's affect
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its effect
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on
society
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society's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
comunicatin
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communication
communications
communicating
have
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has
show examples
significant
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a significant
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role in our
life time
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lifetime
show examples
. the first need of
human
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humans
show examples
is
make
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to make
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relation
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relations
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with
other
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others
show examples
. But,
this methods
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this method
these methods
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not
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is not
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only boring but
also
educated. the best way that
people
use
Wrong verb form
used
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to
make
Verb problem
meet
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their needs
were making
Wrong verb form
is to make
show examples
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
connections
with
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each other
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.
then
, new platforms like
face book
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facebook
show examples
help
to
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apply
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society to make virtual
network
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networks
show examples
which
aid
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aids
show examples
people
to raise
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in raising
show examples
their awareness about others and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
up date
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up-to-date
show examples
about any event that
happen
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happens
show examples
in the world.
However
, in
this
era
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era,
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all
people
Add a missing verb
were expossed
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expossed
Correct your spelling
exposed
to enormous
news
whitout
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without
any
boarder
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borders
show examples
. For
instace
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instance
, if
crime
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a crime
show examples
happen
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happens
show examples
then
most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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people
be aware
by
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of
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news
Add an article
the news
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and
these
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this news
show examples
news
make
Verb problem
puts
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stress on their life.
O
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On
show examples
the other hand ,
conction
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connections
with
people
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who donot
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donot
Correct your spelling
do not
have any
gate
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gates
show examples
,
this
situation
comite
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is
a crime in
the
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apply
show examples
society
that
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apply
show examples
lawbreakers
encouraged
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are encouraged
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to abuse
other
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others
show examples
by
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through
show examples
fake profiles .
due to
this
reason, many families
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are encunter
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encunter
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encounter
by many problems.
For example
, most families compare their
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
by
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to
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
on social media and these
maters
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matters
show examples
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
diversities
Replace the word
diversity
show examples
in families . in conclusion,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
connections
between peers or groups
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
positive and
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
in
memebers
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members
and
enhance
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enhances
show examples
hapines between them.but , if anyone
used
Wrong verb form
uses
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this facilities
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this facility
these facilities
show examples
in
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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manner
thaey
Correct your spelling
they
face
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many problems.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
I think the advantages of
this
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
outweigh the disadvantages .
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

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Task Achievement
You've made a good effort to cover the topic, but to enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea, supported with examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
Your essay structure is recognizable with an introduction and conclusion, which is great. For further improvement, explicitly state your thesis statement in the introduction for a clearer stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, it's beneficial to use more varied and precise linking words to better connect your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are well-organized, each starting with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to clearly convey your points.
Task Achievement
Your essay explores both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a comprehensive approach.
Task Achievement
You've made a commendable effort in discussing the impact of social media on society, showing a good level of understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
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