Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Beyond doubt, there have been many discussions revolving around the issue of whether some groups agree that competitive
sports
are beneficial for adolescent education
, or another group supports the idea these sports
can affect worst
. In the next paragraphs, I will delve into the main reasons in their detail.
On the one hand, competitive Correct article usage
the worst
sports
generate a fundament for an
improvement in the field during adolescence. Many people have a character Correct article usage
apply
such
as ambition
and competing with others in their youth term. Competition
in sports
is the best method to manage these characteristics. That is
, competitive games
play can lead to a beneficial rivalry. If Change the noun form
game
teenagers
acquire successes resulted
from their exercises in any Wrong verb form
resulting
sports
competition
, this
will create self-confidence for them. They will believe that everything can be gained with exercises, after once a win. Consequently
, this
will induce a positive influence on their education
. As for me, their strong belief after their win in the competition
will be reflected in their education
and bring about educational success.
On the other hand
, the ambitious behaviours which take
Wrong verb form
taken
out
during the adolescent term can be harmful to Change preposition
apply
teenagers
. Sometimes they get so caught up in ambition
that any loss or misfortune in the competition
leads to hopelessness and the loss of self-belief. Furthermore
, some teenagers
apply to wrong methods which are not suit for the right competition
in sports
racing because of this
ambition
for acquiring. Consequently
, extreme ambitions can create unjustified competition
among teenagers
, and all these can cause bad results in the development of their personalities. What`s more, all these will affect the worst the education
of teenagers
in the future, in my opinion.
To sum up
, according to
me, both ideas are respectful. Competitive sports
can be beneficial in the adolescent term because these generate aims and determinations, and eventually, these will also
create positive effects on teenager`s education
. However
, the extreme ambition
level can be harmful to their education
because such
a level may reflect badly on the development of their personality.Submitted by sabinanezar93 on
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Specific Examples
Consider adding more specific examples from real-life or studies to reinforce your arguments. This can further support your main points and provide a stronger basis for your views.
Linguistic Range and Accuracy
Try to use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase linguistic range and accuracy. This will not only improve the flow of ideas but also engage the reader more effectively.
Clarity of Opinion in Conclusion
It’s helpful to explicitly state your own opinion in the conclusion, summarizing the discussion, and explaining why you hold this view. This provides a clear closure and reinforces your stance to the reader.
Balance Discussion
Your essay successfully discusses both views on the impact of competitive sports on teenagers, presenting a balanced exploration of the topic.
Structure
The structure of the essay is clear, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the text.
Coherence
You did a good job of maintaining coherence by clearly signaling the shift from discussing the positive effects to the negative effects of competitive sports.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example