IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that government should spend money on creating new public buildings such as museum, city halls, rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #buildings #museum #city #halls #ones
I wish just a simple life. Peaceful, happy, most importantly, satisfied. Every day I add one by one I build your dreams at the term of his life. No rush, do not compete with others, but
also
 will not deviate. But I have gone through a lot in the
last
 3 years to understand all
this
. I have tested and tried many things.
at
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
finally
 of all
this
, I found what I want and what I aspire to. At the age of 38. For others, it is too late, but for me, it is just the beginning. Maybe even at the top of their years, there are many people who deadline their lives without finding what they wanted or what they should have aimed for. Or there is someone who wastes time doing things they don't like and eventually gives up. So I think it's more effective to try a lot of things and find what you really like and work towards it.
Submitted by agiaa0219 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay question or topic in your introduction. Your essay doesn't clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the given statement about government spending.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument or narrative effectively.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This could be personal experiences, hypothetical scenarios, or factual information.
Coherence & Cohesion
A conclusion that summarizes your argument or perspective on the essay topic will strengthen your essay.
Content & Style
Your essay reflects a personal journey and understanding, which adds a unique perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of sentences and paragraphs shows an effort to organize thoughts coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: