Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.

Undoubtedly, with the rapid technology improvement, people can see
movies
from their electronic devices rather than having the only option:
seeing
Change preposition
of seeing
show examples
movies
in
movie
theatres. As for my perspective, I prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the traditional way
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
seeing
films
in a
cinema
.  Technology not only provides the convenience to individuals but
also
provides the entertainment for us. Nowadays, People can reach a variety of ways to see
movies
without limitations of location and distance. To be more specific, if today I want to see a
movie
, the only thing we need is a computer or cellphone. There are diverse
movie
apps and websites that can be used to see
films
,
such
as Netflix and Disney Plus, which provide hundreds of
movies
for members to watch videos whenever and whatever they like. Another reason is that the cost of seeing
films
online is far cheaper than seeing
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
a
cinema
since
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without the commute fee and ticket fee. Having
movies
with mobiles at the place we like is much easier and more convenient.  Having a
movie
in a
cinema
is totally a different experience
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to seeing
films
form
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile devices. With an extremely large screen and excellent sound effects, watching
movies
is an outstanding method of entertainment. People can see
movie
scenes
detail
Change preposition
in detail
show examples
and
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
in the story deeply.
For example
, some exciting scenes and fighting movements will be performed better in a theatre. What's more, the
cinema
has the first priority to play the latest
movies
. If today we want to see a
movie
without others revealing the story, seeing
movies
in a
movie
theatre is an
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
method to prevent it happen.  In conclusion, seeing
films
in the
movie
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
is a better choice since having a better experience with advanced play devices and avoiding others
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
revealing
Wrong verb form
reveal
show examples
the
movie
Change noun form
movie's
show examples
story.
Submitted by bpcivvian on

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Introduction Structure
In your essay, you've presented a clear stance and discussed both views effectively. Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, but consider including a brief preview of your main points to guide the reader.
Linking Words/Phrases
Your paragraphs are well-organized, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. To strengthen coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Conclusion Development
Your conclusion succinctly restates your viewpoint. For an even stronger impact, you could summarize the key points from both perspectives before giving your final opinion.
Supporting Examples
While your essay addresses the task well by discussing both views and providing your opinion, integrating more specific examples or personal experiences could enhance your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Content Understanding
You effectively discussed the advantages and disadvantages of watching movies in cinemas versus on mobile devices, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Logical Structure
Your essay structure is logical, with clear progression from introduction through body paragraphs to conclusion, making your argument easy to follow.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of specific platforms like Netflix and Disney Plus as examples adds relevance and specificity to your argument, contributing to the task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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