In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #overpopulation #governments #businesses #individuals #move #areas #trend

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One of the most prevalent trends in

this

Linking Words

contemporary world is

migration

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the migration

a migration

show examples

majority

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the majority

show examples

people

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towards cities from rural

areas

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as they feel that they can get more facilities in cities as

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

to regional

areas

Use synonyms

While

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it is possible to claim that

people

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enjoy more

praceful

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peaceful

days in villages as

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the hustle and bustle of

city

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the city

show examples

, my view is that

benefits

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the benefits

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outweigh the drawbacks. In

this

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eassy

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essay

easy

, I will examine both sides of the argument.

To begin

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with, there are

number

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a number

the number

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reason

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reasons

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why I support that

people

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have

good

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a good

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life in rural

areas

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First

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The first

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and foremost reason is that

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

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can enjoy more time in rural

areas

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as they will not stuck in traffic

while

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commuting to work or

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apply

show examples

home from

Correct pronoun usage

their job

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job

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jobs

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In addition

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public

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the public

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can have

access

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to fresh eatables as they can grow fruits and vegetables in their own houses because

land

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the land

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is cheaper in regional

areas

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compare

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compared

show examples

to metropolitan

areas

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. There will be

less

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fewer

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patients in rural

areas

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as the

people

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will have

access

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to fresh food, air and water.

For instance

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, Tasmania is

world's

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the world's

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only state where one can inhale

purest

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the purest

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form of oxygen as

compare

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compared

show examples

to all over the world.

Therefore

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, the governments are encouraging

business

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businesses

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to move out of cities as it will give

access

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to more jobs to citizens of

countryside

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the countryside

show examples

Furthermore

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, it can be taken into account that inhabitants have

less

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fewer

show examples

amenities in

country

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a country

the country

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area.

Linking Words

Although

Correct word choice

However

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, many

people

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have challenged

this

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claim on the

ground

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grounds

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that their kids do not get enough

access

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to good education in schools. Students do not get sports classes and cannot obtain other recreational activities

due to

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less competition.

As a result

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sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

they feel that it is not good to live in

countryside

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the countryside

show examples

While

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there are compelling arguments on both sides, my personal sentiments are on

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

par with the idea that if ministers want the population to move to

regional

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a regional

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area, they should open schools and universities first in that area so that students can get quality education and in

turn

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turn,

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it will

also

Linking Words

increase the employment opportunities for the public.

Submitted by kaurv083 on Sun Apr 07 2024

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task achievement

Make sure your essay stays on topic throughout, addressing the advantages and disadvantages directly without veering off into unrelated areas.

coherence cohesion

For stronger coherence, try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. Your example of Tasmania is good, but additional examples could further strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly define your stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical structure in your essay with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, making your arguments more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overpopulation
urban congestion
quality of life
pollution
infrastructure
public services
economic development
job opportunities
local economies
affordable housing
standard of living
well-being
isolation
amenities
healthcare
education facilities
entertainment facilities
community ties
social networks
environmental degradation
ecosystems
biodiversity
development

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In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter introduce yourself say why you are interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs

Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they are born. what might be the reasons for this? what are the advantages and disadvantages

Topic: Some people believe that history should be taught to children at school. Others however, believe that there are other subjects that are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.