Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
Some
people
have different views about environmental issues and how to deal with them : on a global escaled
or nationallyCorrect your spelling
scale
escalated
?
From my point of Change the punctuation
.
view
both of Add a comma
view,
this liability
should be shared.
On the one hand , we have to dive in nationally. I do believe the first step should be done with society itself.
To change the world Fix the agreement mistake
these liabilities
people
have to start with themselves, due to
humans often Change preposition
because
willful
damage the Change the word
willfully
mother-nature
, and it is not only about enterprises.
Correct your spelling
nature
For instance
, some groups of people
and their mindset allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
to
throw cigarettes on the road consciously, it is out of line!
Correct pronoun usage
them to
Consequently
, every governments
should pay attention inside their realm to stop and fade away the pollution.
Change to a singular noun
government
On the other hand
, heads of state should be gathered together to discuss the ecological problems that they faced
Wrong verb form
face
with
. It would help to understand the Change preposition
apply
states
of things Fix the agreement mistake
state
of
each Change preposition
in
countries
, Change to a singular noun
country
moreover
, to share experience and knowledge to improve the quality of life and nature.
It is significant because people
would heal the
nature not only Correct article usage
apply
learn
by Verb problem
apply
trials
and Fix the agreement mistake
trial
errors
Fix the agreement mistake
error
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
hence
the working together.
To sum up
everything, I feel strongly that both these concepts are important, and it is worth for live
up Wrong verb form
living
expectations
.
We should work together to ensure Change preposition
to expectations
well-being
of nature , Add an article
the well-being
also
for the sake of Correct word choice
and also
a
health of Correct article usage
the
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the issue of handling environmental problems at both a national and global level. To enhance your task response, make sure to directly address the question in the introduction and clearly state your opinion. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve on coherence and cohesion, work on the flow and linkage of ideas between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly. Consider also the organization of your essay, ensuring a clear separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
In your essay, use specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned the example of people throwing cigarettes on the road, integrating a wider range of examples and detailing their relevance to your argument will strengthen your points and make your essay more compelling.
Task Achievement
You successfully identified and discussed the importance of addressing environmental issues both nationally and globally, which shows a good understanding of the complexities of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay makes a good attempt to argue from both perspectives, showing an appreciation for the multifaceted nature of dealing with environmental problems. This approach enriches your essay and demonstrates a thoughtful consideration of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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