Nowadays young people spend too much time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #effects #society

These days, many teenagers waste their

time

in commercial

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, which has become a widespread concern. I totally agree with that point because wasting a lot of

time

in plazas will lead to getting low scores at school or university, and it can

also

result in losing a huge amount of money

due to

excessive spending.

This

issue has become even more relevant as shopping

malls

are designed to attract

people

, especially the younger generation, with various entertainment options and tempting offers.

Firstly

killing

Verb problem

spending

show examples

time

at shopping hubs will become a major problem for students, particularly when it comes to their studies. Spending too much

time

shopping without focusing on school or university subjects will make it difficult for them to achieve higher grades.

For example

, by making a comparison between a good student who invests his

time

wisely and a bad student who wastes

time

malls

, we can see that the good student tends to have much higher marks than the one who neglects their studies.

Secondly

, staying at the mall for a long

time

and purchasing unnecessary items can lead to the loss of a significant amount of cash. Usually, shopping districts are filled with advertising banners strategically placed to attract

people

to buy things, despite the daily or weekly updated stocks and products that may not even be needed.

For example

, Dubai Mall, the largest mall in the world, follows

this

principle by placing a lot of ads

Change preposition

show examples

every corner, pulling

people

into making purchases they hadn’t planned on. In conclusion, young

people

should not be allowed to spend excessive

time

malls

Therefore

, I strongly believe that parents should take responsibility and limit their children’s access to

malls

to prevent these negative outcomes.

Submitted by aymanstudiesabroad on Sat Aug 17 2024

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

materialistic attitudes
excessive consumerism
sedentary lifestyles
peer pressure
financial irresponsibility
meaningful social relationships
family bonding
environmental degradation
commercial environments
productive activities

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Nowadays young people spend too much time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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