Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in a house. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
At
some locations, Change preposition
In
people
living in the big housing blocks feel alone and lack the spirit of social environments while
others
believe that these places have better community standards. Both viewpoints have its
own merits and demerits which will be examined Correct pronoun usage
their
further
in the essay.
To begin
with, individuals living in the apartments do not get chance
to socialize with Correct article usage
a chance
others
and hence
have to face stress
of Add an article
the stress
lonliness
. Mostly, these are built in the buzzing city centres where Correct your spelling
loneliness
people
live because of the high standards of life and work opportunities. Many people
are busy with the hectic schedules of work and school. There are fewer chances to communicate with others
in that kind of environment. Even if they have fewer moments of leisure time then
they tend to distress themselves alone at home. Thus
, in many instances, the people
spending life in the cities suffer depression and other psychological disorders.
On the contrary
, in these high-rise blocks
the Add a comma
blocks,
people
have better amenities than others
living in the countryside areas. The sites generally have parks, gyms and meditation centres to feel free and distressed. The co-inhabitants in these buildings also
visit these places where they can socialize with each other. Apart from
this
, they can do various activities together and feel energized. For instance
, people
can go for walks in the mornings or evenings and meet various other people
of
the surroundings. Change preposition
in
This
enhances their chance to mingle further
in the
future social gatherings Correct article usage
apply
such
as birthday and anniversary parties.
In conclusion, both opinions have a myriad of implications. Despite, busy city life cause
numerous mental burdens Replace the word
causes
but
there are many facilities like gardens to minimize Correct word choice
apply
such
kinds of effects.Submitted by DIANA on
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Task Achievement
Consider expanding and providing more real-world examples or personal experiences to further bolster your arguments and make your essay more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
A more varied use of cohesive devices could enhance your essay's flow. Experiment with synonyms and more complex sentence structures to avoid repetition.
Task Achievement
Your essay offers a balanced discussion that considers both viewpoints before arriving at a logical conclusion, showcasing strong critical thinking skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well defined and bookend your discussion effectively, providing clarity and a strong structure to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?